Making an entry with no pants on. Mhm. It's quite liberating. Or something.

So I'm flying back home tomorrow, but I feel it's a bit more legit since it's a holiday, and not, like, a band. lol. It's at 6:45 and I'm doing Southwest, but I'm flying into Washington 'cause it's cheaper, lol. Seriously, if my dad can save ten cents he will do anything to get it, he's so stingy. :p But yeah, I'm excited for it, because this time it'll be a lot more relaxed, less tension and anxiety on my part, and I'll be seeing family and (hopefully) friends that I haven't seen since I came here, which is about three months. So this will be nice, and I'm looking forward to it. And I just love Thanksgiving anyway, so I'm glad I can have real meals and utterly gorge myself for about four days. Bliss.

I know I didn't really say much about what I did on my birthday, but honestly, nothing much happened. Which is kinda sad, and still gets to me a bit, but I'm gonna try and make up for it when I go home. It was me and two of my friends who just walked all along Michigan Ave. where they have most of their big shops (further down the North end is where the Magnificent Mile is, so that's a huge touristy spot.) Then I got back home, Skyped my family, and let my mind get the best of me so I ended up really moody and depressed. And I guess it just hurts a bit more cause I looked back at my last birthday post, when I was 18, and I was just really giddy and happy. So I almost feel like I'm letting people down or something by not being smiley and happy on my 19th bday. But in defense of my emo, my friends had bought my MetClub membership last year, and this time I lost some people and am ten hours away from everything that's familiar. So yeah. But it turned out okay cause I had a really good talk with a good friend who pretty much helped me get into the right frame of mind. I'm not totally better, and I probably won't ever be, but with anxiety it's about learning how to deal with it rather than getting rid of it, and she put me in a good headspace for that so I'm really appreciative. <3

OH ALSO, they aired, like, the most grand and hilarious and HOLY SHIT WTF LOLZ episode of Metalocalypse yet, and I was just so giddy from it, and so happy that I had that on my bday to cheer me up. Since the Rob Zombie concert didn't end up happening. :( Oh well, hopefully he'll come around again when his NEW ALBUM COMES OUT! :D But anyway, it was around 10:00 PM when Alycia came home, and she ended up baking me a cake - that totally fell apart, lol. Like, it's ridiculously huge and has pink icing with my name scribbled all over it, but it just completely caved in and just looks dumb, lol. But then we decided that it just added to the brutality of the cake, so we dubbed it my own Birthday Dethday Totally Metal Cake (minus the mercury frosting, lol.) It was delicious, and there's still a lot left, so I might eat some now.

Yeah, that's about it. I'm torn between being productive and writing, or being lazy and watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes. I'll probably do the latter, since this is me. :p Anyway, I'm not sure yet if I'm gonna bring my laptop with me, so if I don't do a quick good-bye post tomorrow, I'll be back on Sunday. So everyone have a great holiday! :)

P.S. ketene posted pictures from when I met her and nawezireck on November 14 to see Metallica, and it is killing me with joy. Seriously, I should never be sad again, because I can just look at that post and be instantly giddy. Ugh, I can't even, I will just fangirl and babble about. It's so cute, and I miss it, and I hope it happens again and SDFKLJDFSKJLS!!! <3

P.P.S. I forgot this, but happy birthday modernxxmyth !!! She's the day after me, and she turned 19 as well, and we met when we were 15 in the Lost fandom and we still keep in touch, which I'm really happy about. I hope you had an awesome day and that the rest of your college year is going well. Miss you. <3

So I'm 19. It's such an awkward number, and I still can't really believe I'm associated with it. And it's kinda sentimental, because a couple of you I met when you guys were that age. Awww.

That's all I really wanted to say, just to kinda see it out there, I guess. I didn't really do much today, so there's nothing to update about, and I've got homework waiting for me so I'm going to get started on that.

A lot of stuff has been on my mind lately, and I might say something about it later, or just save it for New Year's, because that's basically what it is - resolutions for myself and my life. But I guss I'm gonna gear them towards personal goals, like now that I'm a year older what I want to do to better myself as a person in every way I can. Instead of waiting for the universal new year, this can be my new year, all the things I want to say and do and fix before I turn 20. I think it's important for me to think about in those terms, and hopefully it'll help me out in some of the areas I've been struggling in for some time now.

....thank God there's new Metalocalypse tonight. LOL.

Thanks so much for all the well wishes everyone. I love and miss you all. <3

First off, my mom called me and told me to go on Facebook and look at Lauren's status 'cause she said I'd enjoy it. So this is what it says:

"because of you when i get in the car...i feel like i'm committing a sin when i change a radio station that has metallica playing on it...so i don't...love u big sis ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥"

HAHAHA I've taught her so much. What a cutieeeee, I want to see her again so bad. :(

So I woke up around 2 today and left about an hour later to find some new headphones. Attempt #1 happened last night, but because I'm a Scrooge and can't pay $30 for a legti pair, I had to wait until today to try and find some at Target or Best Buy. And I found a Sony pair at Target, for 8 bucks. It was wonderful. And they sorta fit in my ears, which is such a great bonus! The only thing that sucked is that when I came back to my dorm I tried to open them, and it took me ten minutes because it's packaged in that hard plastic stuff that nobody can ever open EVER so why do they do it in the first place? Ugh, it's so annoying. But I finally had to go whip out the scissors and ended up slicing my finger and giving myself a nasty papercut. And it's all bandaged but I'm still typing with it, so if there are any spelling errors, that's why.

Also, I bought two Rush CDs because they were cheap and I had enough cash and I love them. Also, because my other early birthday present came in the form of awful disgusting cramps, so I needed something to counter the suck.

Speaking of that, I still don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Alycia's not coming back until late, like 10 or 11, and Katy (the other roommate who I don't like) still isn't here. So even though I kinda like having the apartment to myself, I'm sorta running out of stuff to do, and tomorrow is gonna blow if I'm just being lame and sitting in here. I'm still holding out hope for Rob Zombie, but it's a 0/100000000 chance of me not going, so I need to find something else. I think it's just more upsetting cause I wish I was celebrating my birthday back home with everyone there. Katy's birthday was in September but she lives here so it doesn't count, and Alycia's is over Christmas break so she'll be home. And pretty much my whole group of friends from high school are in PA so they can still see their families too. I know I sound really whiny over it, I guess I just didn't think being away for my birthday was going to be a big deal because I was gonna be in freakin' Chicago and know of all these places and have so many friends to go do stuff with. And that's totally not true. But I'll find something, even if it's me walking to the nearest bookstore and hanging around there doing homework or reading, or something. That sounds kinda pathetic, though. :/

Alright, enough of that. Gonna do some homework, maybe write, and just relax until dinner is ready. And by ready I mean whenever I decide to get off my lazy ass and put some mac n' cheese in the microwave. :p

As in a meaningless post before my video update (most likely) tomorrow about the weekend, which included Metallica and friends and family and MSG and NY and PA and driving and Auntie Anne's and thin pizza....and Metallica. :p Because I'm too lazy to do a whole write up about it, and if the Mastodon/Dethklok ended up being the monster of a post that it became, then this should probably just stick to a video. So there you go. :p

I flew in Sunday around four in the afternoon and I've been working and stressed out since. Tomorrow is an easy day for me cause I only have a two hour tutoring session, then after that I can just relax. And Monday was the day I could register for spring semester classes, and I feel a lot better with these choices than I did for my fall term. Here's what that looks like:

Fiction Writing II: Thursday, 8:30AM - 12:20PM
Writing and Rhetoric II: Monday/Wednesday, 9:00AM - 10:20AM
Abnormal Psychology: Monday/Wednesday, 10:30AM - 11:50
CRW: Short Story Writers: Tuesday, 8:30AM - 12:20PM
College Mathematics: Monday, 3:30PM - 6:20PM

Mondays are definitely going to be my tough days, but I wanted to still have Fridays off, so I'm glad I'm doing it this way. As far as my core classes go, I'm still missing a Science credit because I was going to take it in place of Abnormal Psychology, but the only Science class that looked vaguely interesting (and somewhat passable) was already filled up by the time I got to it, so I took this other class which still gives me a credit for taking a 2000 level course. Besides, it sounds so interesting, it's probably the class I'm most looking forward to, and since it deals with issues that I can relate to, I think I'm going to really enjoy it. As well as the CRW: Short Story Writers, because I had wanted to take that this semester but it also filled up before I could. Fiction Writing II is gonna be really fun but really intense, because that's when they stop BSing you and start to get really into the writing. Which I'm a little nervous for, but it's something I think I need. Like Fiction Writing I is a requirement for Fiction Writing majors, but it's also a writing class that doesn't need any prerequisites so basically anybody who's interested in writing can take it. This means the teachers are still intent on writing, but they're not as intense and in your face about it. Usually by the end of that class the people who aren't Fiction Writing majors have had their fill and don't go for Fiction Writing II, which is why that deals with the actual majors and is so much more strict with the craft. But whatever, I think I'll be okay. And I've got four weeks plus a month to worry about it, so no point in doing it now.

Speaking of tomorrow, my roommate Alycia and our friend Jordan are taking me out to dinner for my birthday. :) My actual birthday is on Sunday, but Alycia's leaving this Thursday to go home, and my family is still ten hours away and won't see me until Thanksgiving break, so for my birthday I'll be all alone. Sadface. :( So they're taking me out tomorrow night because neither of us has a tough schedule, and since she leaves the day after, it's good for both of us. But I'm so excited about where we're going, because it's so metal. Like, really. It's some little burger place on Belmont, which is about a 15 minute train ride on the El, and all their meals are named after heavy metal bands, so it's really hilarious. Like, I'm debating on whether or not I should actually ask for the Goblin Cock. LOL! We're going out late because Alycia wants to watch So You Think You Can Dance (dance major) and Glee (which I kinda like :p) so it'll be a nice night out with a small group of us at a really fucking hardcore place. Seriously, check it out, it's awesome. I'm so psyched, I actually want to dress up and look nice for it. In a totally brutal fashion, of course. :p

Click!

And now, have this meme, because I'm bored and need something to make this post somewhat mundane. Expect updates for the next couple of days.

( Stolen from Kady ).

Except it's more like a Southwest airplane. But still, I'm leaving in about a half hour to take the train to the airport and board for an 8:30 PM flight back to Pennsylvania. I just want to fast forward so badly past all the security and flight stuff that makes me so anxious and nervous, but I gotta get through the worst to get to the good. This is my first time flying by myself so I hope I can handle it. :p

If I bother some of you later on, it's only because I have hours to kill at my gate and I'm most likely dying from nerves. Try not to take it personally.

Oh yeah, Metallica too. Still freaking me out, but once I'm there I'll probably be super excited. Pfft, probably. I will be, goddammit.

Alright, heading out. Love and miss you all so much, I'll update when I return on Sunday. *smoochies*

As I've said pretty much every time I post on here, things aren't going well. In fact, the only thing that is actually working out for me is my schoolwork, and my classes. Everything apart from my education blows hard, and since when has that ever happened? So these are just some of the things that have been keeping me happy, and will tide me over until I go home next Thursday to see Metallica and maybe/possibly/hopefully cobrasnaps(but that's up to her.)

Most of it....okay, all of it, is Dethklok related. Because the premiere is this Sunday (:D:D:D) and so I've been getting ready for it in a manner of supreme glee. So if that bugs you, then you don't have to read (well, more like watch) any of the stuff, and it might seem like a pointless post, but HEY. I wanna share these with the world so everyone can take part in pissing their pants with me over the hilarity that is fucking Dethklok. I'll most likely make another post about some substantial stuff that's going on (most of it relating to my classes, since that's where my ability to cope is stemming from) but for now, have these delicious goodies. :)

ITEM #1: DK S3 SNEAK PEEK
I understand if you don't want to be spoiled, and it's not really spoilery, per say, but it's a nice little bit to tide us over until Sunday, so you can watch it or wait, it's up to you.



( Spamalot )

That was what last Saturday was like, and I wish it was coming around again. It was just such a fun night, despite a lot of mishaps and it ended up being really awesome. Plus, it came during a time when things were especially shitty for me and it was just a nice cathartic experience. So I want to write it up so I'll be able to look back on it and be like OMG MY FIRST CHICAGO CONCERT!!! Or I don't know, I like getting these things off my chest....a week after the fact. :p Yeah, anyway, it might get really hectic and rambly (as these things tend to be) but maybe you'll get a kick out of it. :)


( go forth and READ! )
...I really never stop talking, do I? Jesus Christ. :p 

There really is not point to this post other than to say that I'll be doing the Mastoklok write up tomorrow, and that cramps fucking suck. Holy shit godfuckingdammit.

I'm also in limbo with being thoroughly depressed and alarmingly ecstatic. At least it's an improvement from where I've been. Slightly.

A 20-year-old college student is missing after she left her friends shortly before the start of a Metallica concert Saturday night in Charlottesville, NC.

According to University of Virginia police, Morgan Dana Harrington, a Virginia Tech junior, was last seen leaving the John Paul Jones Arena shortly before Metallica's set Saturday night. Her friends had no idea why she was leaving the venue, but assumed she'd be returning.

Harrington drove to the concert with her roommate and a friend. Her purse and cell phone were later found outside the arena, and her car was still in the parking lot.

"We are deeply concerned about the disappearance of 20-year-old Virginia Tech student Morgan Dana Harrington, who was last seen while attending our concert at the John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville, VA, on Saturday night," Metallica said in a statement posted on their website.

Harrington was last seen wearing a black Pantera t-shirt, a black miniskirt, black tights and black knee-high boots. She has long blond hair and blue eyes, is 5'6", and weighs about 120 pounds.

Virginia State Police are asking anyone with video or photos from Saturday's concert to check the images and see if they show the missing student.

Anyone who might have knowledge of Harrington's whereabouts are asked to contact the Virginia State Police at               (434) 352-3425         (434) 352-3425, or the UVA Police at               (434) 924-7166         (434) 924-7166 or police@virginia.edu.

The people who were at the concert or live in the Virginia area are probably the only ones who can still be of any help. She's now been missing for about four days and unless new info comes up, the trail is going to go cold. This is just really sad and awful, and I'm gonna keep thinking and hoping that she turns up safe. The concert I went to on Saturday I went by myself, in a city that I don't completely know yet, at a venue I've never been to before, and on a city train and in a not so great area. Now, after reading this, I realize I should've been more careful about it and I'll definitely be preparing myself for when I see Metallica at MSG. For now, I hope everyone keeps her in your thoughts and prayers, spread the word around to anybody who might be of any help, and just hope for the safe return of this poor girl. It's still just so shocking to me, I honestly can't get over it.

( nonsense below )Well that was fun. And I want my new Dethklok/AIC CDs. *weep*

I can't remember the last time I felt this sick. Fainting and throwing up are rare for me, and I've done more of that then I think I ever have in my whole life. Along with some other shit that's just too TMI and humiliating for me to mention. I made an appointment at the health center tomorrow for 1:40, but that's after a four hour writing class and before two back to back classes (2:00 - 3:20, 3:30 - 4:50). I'm probably gonna miss part of the former for the appointment but I really can't miss anything this early in the game, especially my long morning classes. I'm so terrified that I'm gonna be sitting there and the pains are gonna come back and it's gonna only be 10:00 and I'm not gonna know what to fucking do. God, this is fucked. I can't even deal with this, I hate this.

What also blows is that new AIC/Dethklok comes out tomorrow, and I've been so excited to pick them up for weeks now. I don't know if I'll even be able to make it to the nearest music store with the way I'm feeling. I know I'm complaining, but I'm both scared and depressed and I still have homework and it all makes for an awful combo with the kind of schedule I have tomorrow. Like, of course I couldn't get sick on a Friday or a day where I could just spend the next day sleeping and getting better. Nope, it just gets worse the night before my busiest day of the week. Story of my life.

As embarrassing as it is to say, this is the only time I wish I was closer to home, so that I could feel closer to my parents and probably help this all out a bit. I've been on the phone with my mom all day cause I just don't know what to do, but besides her words there's nothing she can do, we're too far away, and that's scaring me more than anything else.

So that's that. I'm gonna go before I vomit all over the keyboard. I'm hoping to fucking God I'll feel decent when I get up, cause I cannot miss class. I just can't.

I wish I was responsible enough to know what to do. This sucks.

I promise I'll actually update with something a little more substantial....but this looked like fun. And I need some of that.

Why are you taking yet another shuffle quiz?
Song: Sun and Steel
Artist: Iron Maiden
Comment: Er, yeah. That's why. 

( teh rest )
 </div>

You can learn a lot about someone by the music they listen to. So here is the game! Hit shuffle on your ipod or mp3 player and write down the first 25 songs. No cheating or skipping songs that are shameful. That is what makes it fun!

1) Amon Amarth - Twilight of the Thunder God
2) Slayer - Jesus Saves
3) System of a Down - Lonely Day
4) Dimmu Borgir - Blessings Upon the Throne of Tyranny
5) Dethklok - Birthday Dethday
6) Slipknot - Despise (demo)
7) Led Zeppelin - I Can't Quit You Baby
8) Nine Inch Nails - Sunspots
9) Satyricon - The Pentagram Burns
10) Fates Warning - Prelude to Ruin
11) Iron Maiden - Seventh Son of a Seventh Son
12) Emigrate - Let Me Break
13) Cradle of Filth - Death Magick for Adepts
14) Metallica - The Unforgiven (live 1/17/09)
15) Alice In Chains - God Smack
16) Tool - Aenima
17) OOMPH! - Eine Frau Spricht Im Schlaf
18) Anthrax - Only
19) Apocalyptica - Helden
20) Megadeth - Elysian Fields
21) Opeth - Godhead's Lament
22) Moonspell - Dreamless (Lucifer and Lilith)
23) Lamb of God - Break You
24) Tristania - Cease to Exist
25) Rob Zombie - Dead Girl Superstar

It's been awhile, lots of stuff has happened since I moved to Chicago a week ago. And none of it has anything to do with school, since classes don't start until Tuesday. :p Hoping to have an actual substantial update in the future. Miss and love you guys. <3

I leave for school next Wednesday, the 26th. I'm ready to throw up from nerves and fear and excitement, all at once. My move-in day is technically the 28th, but since we're driving (and making a pit stop at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame :D) we're leaving a little bit earlier. Still, I don't like thinking about how in a little over a week I won't be here anymore. It's just weird and gross and blah. Not good.

I have more to say, I really do, I'm just too tired and out of it right now to post all of it - or at least do so eloquently. We just got back from some college shopping and now all I wanna do is sleep off this upset stomach I have.

Expect some spammy, angst ridden posts coming up in the days leading to my departure. I'll be sorely needing you guys (at least the ones who give a flying fuck.)

TO JAMES HETFIELD!!! :D

Happy birthday you fantastic wonderfully awesome man. I could go all sentimental and in depth of how much this guy means to me, but instead, I'll just post some pics and be all goofy and giddy here. Yup, sounds right. :)

( from KEA to present day )











 

The big guy turned 46, and he's still totally amazing. UGH. Love ya Jamie. <333

Yesterday was Geddy Lee's birthday, the vocalist/bassist/keyboardist/all things awesome in the prog rock band Rush. He turned 56, and still looks fucking adorable and cute and Canadian. :D




Aww, lookithim. Continue rocking out in one of the greatest bands in the world. <3

I've got Orientation on Monday, and I leave Saturday at 8:30 PM. I'm really nervous, but also really excited. I've been talking with my roommates recently, and they seem nice enough, I just hope it can last and that my anxiety doesn't get in the way. So far, two of them do not share my musical interests in the slightest, but I won't hold that against them, I need all the friends I can get. But one of them is a great photographer, and I just love looking at her photos on Facebook, they're so super lovely. I'm definitely gonna be getting lessons from her, lol. The third girl actually graduated high school about a year and a half ago, but she wanted to put it off for traveling and money. Now that she's going she's majoring in journalism, and before this she was working as an apprentice at her friend's tattoo parlor. She doesn't have any kind of networking site so I don't know much about her, but she sounds awesome. :) So yeah, hopefully this all goes well. Wish me luck.

In other news, I'm going to get the Twin Peaks soundtrack, and once I get my hands on it, everyone is going to give it a listen. The music is about as trippy and strange sounding as the show, but it's also got these unique elements thrown and mixed in, like jazz and orchestration, that just makes it an amazing soundtrack. Ugh, I love it, I really hope I can get it soon.

NERD ALERT: I already saw the Harry Potter movie, cause I went with Lauren and three gymnastics friends at midnight. Dorks we be. I probably enjoyed the events leading up to it (sneaking Wawa dinner inside, picking out the best costumes among the crowd, hiding from the bitch who was running the line, randomly quoting The Office and Youtube vids) more than the film itself, but the sixth book was my favorite, so I'm probably being too hard on it. I'll definitely b seeing it again (see dork) and maybe then I'll do a more thoughtful review. But for now, it was fine, and it's put me back on my Alan Rickman/ crush from, like, fourth grade. Snape > everything. <3

I also bought some goodies, which include: Iron Maiden: Flight 666 (EEEE!!!), Mastodon's Crack The Skye (ugghgauughfgfeglovelovelove) and clothes (summer stuff, Chicago stuff, cute bras, band shirts.) I was going to get Children of Bodom's Blooddrunk but Lauren wouldn't let me listen to whatever I bought in the car if it had screaming and stuff in it. Which I'm sure it has. :p So I passed it up for Mastodon, and I'm not at all regretting it. Great album. BUT, for anybody who's heard it, would it be worth to go out and get it or should I just find a download somewhere? I really liked Are You Dead Yet? and my friend has been pimping Follow the Reaper since the dawn of time, but I'll give the other a listen if it's just as good. I'm always open to new stuff, obviously. As far as books go, I got the Cliff Burton tribute (I'm almost afraid to read it, for fear of bawling), Metallica, The Club Dayz (holy shit talk about Babytallica, so fucking cute it slays me), a photography guide (see newbie), couple of fiction writing books that look promising, and music magazines. Yup, I'm pretty much set. Right now I'm reading this book on Columbine, and ugh, it's fascinating. So, so good. I might talk about it after I'm finished, but the event itself has affected me since I first heard it, and just reading this detailed account of different aspects of it, it's just amazing. Hope nobody thinks I'm a freak for getting pleasure out of this.  

As far as concerts go, my list is not as epic as randomvacancy but, come on, who else is? I'm seeing Green Day on Tuesday when I get back from Chicago....shut up, I know, it's for a friend, we've been BFFS in a 42 beers way and Green Day is to her like Metallica is to me but UGGFKFDKH FUCKING GREEN DAY GAWD WHY. At least we're on the floor, so maybe I can get some fun out of it. Otherwise, I might be seeing Tool with a friend, but I'm not completely sure, that's still up in the air. Alice In Chains tix went on sale a few days ago and they're already sold out, which I should've expected, but still. Balls to the wall :( They're selling for about a hundred now, but I'm hoping there will be some kind of a drop closer to the date, which is in September. Unless something like that isn't plausible, in which case I'll stop wishing. But I'm gonna keep an eye out cause this concert is in Chicago, and it's at the House of Blues. Which is two minutes from my dorm building. Yeah, fucking A. How can I pass this up? I need to see a concert in the Windy City, and this just seems so perfect. I've never actually gone to a show that didn't consist of driving and parking and all that stressful stuff, and I'm really looking forward to just checking out things on the street. Makes me feel independent and cool, or something, I don't know. We'll see how it goes.

Speaking of music, for all you guys uploading random stuff, I'm definitely digging it. If you have something and are afraid to post it cause you think nobody will download it, read this. Cause I will, I promise you. I can't get enough.

So, this was kind of a pointless post. I blame it on my job, since I have absolutely no online time and when I do its just a vomitation of mindless, unneccessary tidbits on my life. But I hope you all didn't mind anyway. I'll probably post again before I leave for Chicago unless something else comes up before then. Hope things are going well for all of you. I really miss talking to some of you guys. <3

I really hate how I always seem to get into great shows or bands way past their prime, and then I get all fangirly over it and nobody else is around to bask in it with me. At least, no one around my age. :p

But I just started watching Twin Peaks about a week ago, and I. Fucking. Love it. David Lynch, the guy who created it, is so kooky and weird and strange and just everything that I find fascinating and awesome. I actually heard of the show before because it was always referenced by fans of Lost, being another trippy serialized show and all. But whereas J.J. Abrams is a good creator on the frontof big dramatic hits and successes, David Lynch is totally and completely out there with himself and his work, and it's just, UGH. I am totally in love, seriously. Of course, the show got cancelled after its second season because people are morons who don't have enough depth to follow a storyline and wait for the answers to be revealed in amazing and fantastic ways only David Lynch can produce. And it's making me get a huge man crush on Kyle MacLaughlin. Who'd ever thought I'd fall for a clean cut, quirky dude? <3

I already bought Blue Velvet, another extremely bizarre Lynch film starring Kyle MacLaughlin - these two are similar to the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp pairing. I heard it's way more weird and extreme than Twin Peaks, which is just making me foam at the prospect of watching it. Once I finish the series I'll get on it, and then continue to work my way through Lynch's catalogue. Because he is superb and fascinating and wonderfullll. UGDHFJD.

Note that this is one of those few, rare entries where I'll actually freak out extensively over television/actors/superficial things. Because it's just that gripping. :D

GETTING ICONS NAO KTHXBAI.

 

My meet started at five, and didnt end until about ten thirty. I'm dead tired, and it hasn't really hit me yet that everything is actually over. Like, for good. Probably on Sunday, when Lauren goes off to practice and I realize I don't need to be there because I'm not actually on the team anymore, that's probably when it'll hit me. Hard. Right now I'm just getting exhaustion and relief from it all, but we'll see how that changes.

The only thing that happened which was absolutely perfect? Once awards were over and I got out to the car, I turned on the Sirius and guess what was playing? Yup, Metallica's Master of Puppets. How utterly fucking beautiful and perfect, for me, to have that song playing as I leave my final gymnastics meet for the last time. I actually did start tearing up then, lol.

Here's the stats from the meet itself:

Vault - 8.000
Bars - 7.1
Beam - 7.85
Floor - 7.525
All Around - 30.475

Yeah, you're probably thinking those aren't great scores. And you're right. Just looking at them by themselves they look like nothing and what do I have to be proud of? For me, they're great, because I haven't been doing my tumbling for such a long time, and this was the first meet that I did all of it and got through a full Bars routine, so that's definitely an accomplishment. My main disappointment is with Beam, because I fell off towards the end which is why I dropped into the sevens. If I had stayed on, I probably would've gotten at least an 8.3, which would've bumped my All Around and made me feel better about getting only one 8 for my last meet. But whatever, what's done is done. Despite everything, I'm happy with what I did. At the very least it'll give me something to look back on.

And that's it. Period. I am no longer a current gymnast. It's just...ugh. That doesn't sound right. Now it's starting to feel a little strange.

Opening Ceremonies for the official National Gymnastics competition was today, and tomorrow I compete at 5:00 PM.

After fourteen years, this will be the last time I ever do gymnastics as a current seasonal competitor. So hopefully I don't screw it up, otherwise I'll have something shitty to look back on. :p

I'd write more but I'm just so tired and exhausted from everything that I'm just gonna leave it at that. I'll probably have more for tomorrow, once the meet is over and the water works cease (yeah I'm gonna be crying, shut up.)

So yeah, wish me luck guys. I'll be needing it.