Close my eyes, find my place to hide...

snowbound

2009-12-19T06:03:12Z

The stuff that happened on Monday sorta kept me from posting anything 'cause it really bummed me out this week, but I thought I'd at least give an update on what's happening.

So I'm leaving tomorrow for my flight back home, but my excitement at being in PA for a little more than month is being overrided by my panic and anxiety that's coming with the journey. Like the fact that there's supposed to be a horrible snow storm hitting the entire Mid-Atlantic area, starting in the early morning and lasting throughout the whole night. And I'm freaking because my flight's at 5:25 PM, so there'll be plenty of time for the snow to affect the Philly airport, and I'm dreading having to lug all my shit to Midway ('cause I'm checking some bags and that alone is making me nervous) to find that my flight is delayed/cancelled. I'd rather sit at the airport for hours waiting to get on another flight rather than coming all the way back to my dorm and waiting until tomorrow for me to get home. And my carry on bag looks fucking huge to me, so I'm worried that it's not gonna fit through the security conveyor belt thing and then I'll just be stuck and DSHJHKDGH. Such angst, it sucks. Oh, and my time of the month happened a few hours ago, and I hate traveling when I'm feeling like shit. So there's that.

Well, that was a really whiny and complaining kind of post, but at least you know that I'll be torturing myself pretty much all day tomorrow. I don't think I really have anything else (useful) to say, so I'll just end it here. Hope anyone else who's traveling makes it safe to their destination, and I'll be back online by next week or so. Love you all.

P.S. I pretty much feel/look exactly like Toki in my icon, minus the blood. It's intense over here, you guys.

my turn

2009-12-13T23:31:33Z

I'm gonna do that concert survery thing because it looks fun, but my answers won't be as epic as those of some of the people on my flist. So there ya go.

1. How many shows have you been to?
I think about 15 so far. I definitely want to bump up that number.

2. Who do you go to the majority of your shows with?
It's never one specific person, and usually it's whoever's available at the time. I guess I'd say the closest to that would be my dad or my friend Jason.

3. Do you crowdsurf or mosh?
Neither, but I like being on the edge of the pit and watchign everybody have a good time in front of me, and for some reason I think it's hilarious and so fun when we all get squished or smashed at some points, lol. But I've never gone all the way into the pit, and crowdsurfing kind of freaks me out.

4. Balcony or floor?
Recently I've always tried for floor, usually for the vibe of the people rather than interaction with the band, since I'm usually too small or too far back to really see much of what's going on on stage. If I've been in seats or balcony area, it's only because we didn't get tickets in time for GA, or I'm going to a show with my family and they obviously don't want to be roughed around on the floor.

5. Barricade or pit-area?
It depends on the band. For Metallica, I'd like to be on the barricade for most of it so that I can interact and connect with them while they're performing, because it would really affect me in some kind of profound way and I think it's really special. I guess that goes for any other band that I'm really connecting with as people and I want them to know that I'm out there cheering them and supporting them. But if it's a super fun show where everyone is just gonna flail about and have a good time, then I want to be in the pit area. The times I've been in that position have been the most fun shows I've attended.

6. Do you sing along?
Haha, yeah, I love knowing the words to the songs they're singing. Sometimes I'll do it really quietly or just mouth the words 'cause I think my voice is atrocious and I don't want the people next to me to be totally offended, lol. But if it's something where everybody is screaming then I give it my all.

7. Do you scream?
Yeah, I try not to be too obnoxious about it so I just sorta "whoop" and "wooo" at them, lol.

8. Do parents on the floor at shows annoy you?
Not at all, I know my own parents still want to experience the shows with me, and I think that's really sweet and special, it's like starting your kid off on the right path, lol. If it's a really intense show and the kid is really young, then I just worry about them the whole night and want to push them back. One of my first concerts there was a dad with a three year old on his shoulders on the floor. I'm not kidding, he was three, because the band called him out 'cause he obviously looked like he didn't belong there. It kept freaking me out every time I looked at them.

9. Does it annoy you when there's a couple in front of you making out?
Copious amounts of PDA annoy me in general, but I usually feel there's more appropriate times and places for that, and shows are on that list. It's never happened to me, but I'm sure if I was with a guy I liked and we were at a great show and the music was just filling us up and making us totally emotional, I'd let something happen. I know it's happened that way for some other people and I think it's really cute. :)

10. Best show?
I'm really bad at this question 'cause I usually come out of most of my shows having the best time, and it's been a cross between how epic and profound the band was that I was seeing, and then how awesome the vibe was at the show itself. In that case, I guess I'd say Mastodon/Dethklok concert this past October and the God Forbid/Municipal Waste/Children Of Bodom/As I Lay Dying/Lamb Of God show in April/May for being the most rowdy and ridiculous and fun times I've had. I loved Metallica at MSG #1 for obvious reasons, but Metallica in January beats that for sentimental value because it was my first concert with the guys. And I have to honor the Queensryche/Judas Priest show I saw in 2006, I believe, because it was the first metal show I went to and I went with my dad and it was just a really special experience, and it sorta set me up for the kind of person I am today.

11. Longest show?
Uhhh...lol, I have no idea. Lauren and I went to see Projekt Revolution waaaay back (go ahead, mock) but we got there with the last three bands playing out of the fifteen they had, so that doesn't really count. I guess I would say the LOG show for the lineup they had for the one concert, and maybe the Opeth show last year in September because, well, it's Opeth. :p

12. Best set?
Iron Maiden last June. It was a great mix of all their bests and it was just such an incredible time.

13. Ever meet & become friends with someone from a show?
The closest I would say is Stephanie (swirthwein ) but I did send her an email asking to meet up with her 'cause I was panicking and we texted back and forth while she made the drive up here. I keep getting too nervous and shy about going to a show by myself so I never have the chance to try and meet people right off the bat.

14. How many band people have you met?
LOL NONE. How sad. We tried to meet Brendon Small and Gene Hoglan after the Mastoklok show but everyone was absolutely beat after that show so they went straigth to the buses and we acted like morons and hung around outside for almost two hours, lol. At least the security guards were nice to us. Aaaand at that same show one of the guys from High On Fire came out and someone from Mastodon (I think it was Brann, I feel so rude not knowing) stopped by on his way to his van, but I personally didn't meet them 'cause I was nervous and cold and just sorta smiled at them and hung out at the back. Stephanie and another guy got to shake their hands though. :)

15. Do you have any picks/drum sticks?
I got a Metallica Sux pick at Metallica at MSG #1 and I'm cherishing and keeping it close by me, lol. I'm still trying to figure out how to turn it into a necklace so I can keep it on me at all times. And this isn't a pick or a drumstick, but at the same show I got one of the Metallica beach balls, thanks to Justin (justinmikehunt ) :D

16. Do you tend to dance?
Omg yes. I try and balance it out between headbanging/windmilling and just flailing about. Mastodon is really heavy and intense but they're also soothing and chill, so I sorta swayed and got lost in it for most of their set, and when Dethklok came on I totally let loose, lol.

17. Did you ever intentionally hurt someone at a show?
No, thankfully no one's done anything serious to me to give me that opportunity, but I'd probably be too shy to do something outright anyway. I accidentally dropped a crowdsurfer at the Mastoklok show, which I still feel terrible over, but that's unintentional so it doesn't count.

18. Most money you've spent on show tickets?
Metallica, both times. It was like a huge deal when we saw them for my first time in Philly and there were like eight of us going, so we all had to split the ridiculous cost. And the second time, at MSG #1, I was on the floor through MetClub, so after expenses and all that it totaled to more than $100.

19. Most money you've spent on merch?
The Mastodon/Dethklok show, lol. I was so obnoxious I wanted to buy so much shit. I only ended up getting two things, but one of them cost around $50 so the whole thing came to about $75.

20. Favorite merch?
Oh, I love all my goodies. My Dethklok hoodie is wonderful and I pretty much wear it everywhere I go now, lol. I also really like girly shirts so I can show off the fact that, yes, I have boobs, and I'm also hardcore. :p And they're really comfy and fit nicely, so that's awesome. I definitely wear my Lamb Of God and Rush girly tees a lot.

21. Furthest you've traveled for a show.
This is changed up a lot because we would only go to a show if we happened to be near the area. I guess I would say when we went to see Rush at Summerfest last summer. The event is in Milwaukee, but we were already in Wisconsin for a gymnastics competition, so I guess it wasn't that far of a drive.

22. Favorite venue?
Back home, I really love the Trocadero and the Electric Factory. I saw Opeth at the former and LOG at the latter, and they're both really intimate venues that have their own unique style to them, and I had a great time at both of those shows. For here, the Aragon Ballroom is really beautiful, like it's not only the venue itself but the architecture I'm totally in love with it, and it has such an epic and intense feel to it that really plays off well with the bands that perform there. It made the Mastoklok show a much more wonderful experience.

23. Do you call people during shows?
Never during because I know its just gonna be a static jumbled mess and no one wants to hear that. I've texted/called people before a show if I'm really excited about it, but I also like texting/calling my friends if I know they're about to see a really awesome show and I get so happy and excited for them. :) And when Kady (randomvacancy ) saw Mastodon/Dethklok she texted me relaying her meeting with Mastodon's singer and we had such a ridiculous laugh over it, and it made me so excited for her and I went the whole rest of the night just sitting around thinking of how awesome of a time she was having. :D

24. Longest you've waited in line at a show?
I've never really had to wait as long as some other people I know because I always get there usually right around the time the doors open. I know for Opeth we got there before the doors opened so we had to wait around in line for a while, and when I went to see Metallica at MSG #1 I got there a few hours before the show started, but I didn't really have to wait around 'cause I spent most of the time hanging out with Kayla (ketene ) and Kerri (nawezireck ) and we got in line pretty much right when they started letting people in, so it wasn't bad.

25. Hottest show?
I just realized I haven't been to that many summer shows, lol. So I guess Iron Maiden 'cause it was a summer show and we had lawn seats so we had to be outside for it.

26. Coldest show?
Metallica in Philly was horrendous, even by PA standards, so I feel so sorry for the people who actually had to wait in line for hours. That was one of the shows we got to after the doors opened so it was only cold when we had to walk from the parking lot into the building, and then after the show where there was a dramatic incident that kept us there a lot longer. And Mastodon/Dethklok was really cold too, because LOL CHICAGO IN OCTOBER, but made it harder on myself by standing outside before the show for about half an hour trying to sell my extra ticket, then waiting for almost two hours after the show, then standing and waiting almost fifteen twenty minutes for the train to come and pick me up from the venue.

27. Do annoying girls screaming about how hawtt the singer is annoy you?
I actually haven't been around anybody who's done that, or I'm too into the music to really register what they're saying. But if I did, it would really piss me off and I'd probably make sure to windmill right in their face so my hair gets in their mouth and assaults their speech. :p

28. Do bitchy security guards piss you off?
They would if I encountered them, but I've really only been to one show where I was close enough to talk with the security guards, and that was at Metallica MSG #1. And, er, the main guy sorta joked around with me and stuff but it also made me feel really self conscious and shy. Like he did this whole thing where he was like "Alright, if I see anybody rough housing it up here you're gonna get thrown out," and then he saw me and was like "or else this girl over here is gonna kick some ass, so watch out," which is HILARIOUS because the rail came up to, like, my chest so it was obviously a funny joke. But then I started getting all red and he was like "Look at her, she's blushing!" so I got even MORE red and just tried to smile it off, and then he was like "Hey, you need to relax, this is a Metallica show," and I finally was like "Yeah, I'm ready," but then it bothered me that I apparently looked like I was really uncomfortable being there, lol. I know he was just trying to be fun, but I don't know, it totally put me on edge. And that's my one and only encounter with security guards. :p

29. Do you laugh when underage girls get kicked out of the barricade area?
No, because for a while, I was worried that I might be one of them. Not that I don't know what I'm getting myself into, of course I do, but you can't help it if you're of smaller stature and there's a bunch of assholes trying to crush you into the railings. Thankfully I've only been in that position at Metallica and their crowds are almost always family friendly, I guess you could say, and when I've been back on the floor I've been able to hold my own pretty well. Unless the girls were being obnoxious and deserved to be taken out because they didn't do their homework, then I would think it's ridiculous. But I don't think I'd ever outright laugh at them.

30. You can relive one show for one night, what show?
Hmmm, I've been saying for a while that it would be Mastodon/Dethklok, because there was a lot of shitty drama going on with me and it was the first time I just relaxed and fucking let go and just had a good time, and it was totally worth it. I'd probably also say the first time I saw Metallica in Philly, but only if I could change up a few things about it.

31. Upcoming shows?
LOL my whole dilemma. I'm definitely going to see Alice In Chains, but I've also debating on Arch Enemy and just keeping a general look out for anybody else coming my way. Lauren is trying to get us tickets to see Megadeth/Slayer/Testament in February which I would love to go to but I'd have to fly home for it, and Opeth is getting ready to kick us all in the face with a fantastic show in April, so of course I'd love to go to that. But this is all just speculation on my part, I don't have anything physical to show for it. Yet.

32. Show you wished you went to?
Man, a lot. LOL. Recently, I wished I had just said fuckit and gone to see Rob Zombie, because I know it would've been great and it would've made my birthday a lot less sucky. OH and Satyricon came through Chicago like the first week I moved in so it was too late for me to see them because I didn't even realize they were here, but that would've been such a fun show to see as well.

33. Ideal tour (up to 6 bands)
There's so many bands that I'd love to see that I haven't yet, so it would be more than six bands. But there's only one that I am desperately, desperately wanting to go to, and that would be Amon Amarth. They've slowly become one of my top bands, and I only hear fantastic and amazing things about them and I would kill to be a part of that. UGH I'm dying just thinking about it. They came to Allentown, PA earlier this year and Kayla and I were gonna try and meet up because it would've just been THE BEST but it kinda fell through, and I'm still regretting not just going by myself because hdfhkhfghfd. So yeah, definitely those guys. I need to see them.

Wow, I just realized I name dropped like five people. How obnoxious. :p

heeeeyooooh!

2009-12-11T22:56:45Z

I can't come up with a good subject line, so whenever that happens I'll just start quoting stuff. Cool.

I want to talk about concerts for a bit, but first I'll mention my morning, because it was both awkward and hilarious. So my dorm is part of a Hostel, but it's also just a regular building in the city, which needs to be cleaned just like all the other regular buildings in the city. Which means that we get window washers, and my bed/desk area happen to be right in front of it. So I get up this morning, looking atrocious for obvious reasons, step out of bed and see...this dude scrubbing at my windows. And we both just kinda looked at each other because I don't think this kinda thing usually happens. I debated on getting up and pulling down the blinds, but then I thought that would've been so rude, so I just got up and walked my frumpled, disheveled self out of the room. It could've been worse - I could've been coming into my room from a shower, lol. But it was amusing and awkward and I had a good laugh to myself. :p

OH RIGHT there's another incident, lol. Alycia and I went to Jewel to pick up some groceries. For those of you who don't know, Jewel is like Pennsylvania's ACME, it's their big grocery shopping center. For us, that's ACME, but I don't know if it's something different for some of you guys. I know Alycia said they go to ShopRite and she's from Boston, and I know in North/South Carolina they have BI-LO's, but whatever it is for you, that's what Jewel is. Anyway, it's about six blocks away which I don't mind walking in, but since it's been getting so cold and we get free train rides we might as well use them, right? So we go to the Red Line and take it two stops to Roosevelt, which is where the Jewel is. And as we're getting off we get on the escalator behind this couple, and it's kinda awkward because obviously they're higher than us because they're on the next step, but I'm also really short so the guys ass is like right in my face, lol. So we're moving up and I see he has a stray hair on the end of his jacket, and this might annoy some people but UGH I can't stand when I see stray hairs, I have to like force myself to not remove them, they bug me so much. But it was sort of dangling so I was just gonna quick rip it off, and right when I moved my hand towards it, the guy's girlfriend basically put her hand on his ass and started, like, fuckign squeezing and essentially groping him. Right at my eye level. LOL Alycia and I were trying to hard not to make a scene, but it was just so ridiculous, like really? There's people behind you, you couldn't have waited ten seconds to get off the escalator before you copped a feel? But whatever, they made out as they got off and Alycia and I sporfled on our way to the Jewel.

Man, city people. Anyway.

So, I'm really wanting to go to some concerts, but there's only a few potential ones that I can actually afford - Alice In Chains, Arch Enemy, and Behemoth. Behemoth is most likely not gonna happen cause I don't know enough of their catalogue to really call myself a fan and I don't want to be a tool and just go just because I know they're black metal and all, lol. But if I suddenly whip through their stuff and fall in love with them in time for the show, then maybe I'll consider it. It's really the other two that I'm concerned about, because I love them both. Alice In Chains I've decided is happening, because they were here earlier and I didn't want to go 'cause I was still settling in and I had the Mastodon/Dethklok show coming up, but I still regret missing them and I definitely don't want to make that mistake again. And unless I suddenly meet a hardcore metal concert goer who won't mind going with me, I'll be attending this concert by myself too. Which blows. But I guess because it's AIC and they have the potential to just be, like, totally chill and easy going, that it won't be a big deal if I go by myself. Like, I can always just hang out at the back of the floor and sway and dance by myself, but that still might be kinda lame, and of course I wish I was with someone enjoying it with me. That's why I'm worried about Arch Enemy, because I really like them, enough that I would probably go if they came near me, and since they are, I want to take that opportunity. But that's not a show where I can just hang in the back, and I know if I'm there and feeling the vibe of everyone I'm going to want to go further onto the floor, and I'm too anxious/nervous/embarrassed to do that by myself. I probably wouldn't have gotten as far as I did with Mastodon/Dethklok if swirthwein and her friend Owen hadn't been with me, 'cause they did most of the pushing and I just followed behind. I'm not up to that point yet where I can just barrel my way through to the spot I want, and if anybody tries to stop me I can't handle that by myself. Or I'm just being a pussy, whatever. So hopefully, fucking HOPEFULLY I'll meet someone, 'cause man that's the one main thing that's still dragging me down about this place, and they'll want to come to a show with me and we'll have such a good time and UGHFGJFGH. It's something I don't have to totally worry about right now, but just thinking about in a potential way makes me nervous and I wish it would just work out.

So that's Chicago. Apparently, Lauren texted me saying she wants to go see Slayer/Megadeth/Testament in Camden sometime in April. So after my initial flail fest at being so proud of her for actually considering this show, we're trying to see if I can make it. Technically, I can, because it's on a Saturday, so I can just do what I did with Metallica and fly home for the weekend. But that would bring my parents into the mix and if they can't help me get another flight back home right after getting back to school (which they probably won't) then it won't happen. But it's killing me because this is gonna be like a historical concert, lol. I hate knowing that I'm just gonna watch them tour by me. But I think they are coming to Chicago, except it's the same worries as before, I don't want to go if I'm by myself, and it'll just be so lame if I'm rocking out in a corner by a pillar or something, lol. At least if I'm with Lauren I'm with someone I know so it'll be okay. But besides that, there's also another Opeth tour - a super duper special one where the only two US dates they're playing are California and NYC. Like, lol, COOOL. Obviously Cali won't happen, and so of course I want to go to NYC, if only to see them play Blackwater Park in its entirety. 'Cause damn, that would be the greatest. I saw them on a regular tour last year, in September I think, with Nachmystium and High On Fire, and I wasn't as big a fan of them as I am now, not that I didn't like them I just wasn't as familiar with their stuff, but I still had one of the best times at that show, and this would be even more special because of the situation and how intimate they're making it. But it's the same issues that are holding me back, and I think it's in April, so I don't know what my school life will be like at that point and I don't want to lock myself in to something that I might not be able to make. Plus, if the Camden show happens, I most likely won't go because that'll be two concerts coming in close (three if I count AIC, who are playing in Jan/Feb) together and I don't think I'll be able to financially handle that at that point.

So yeah, my musical dilemmas can suck limp dildos at this point, but I'm still totally open to suggestions of any kind. I mean, obviously. :p

'sup?

2009-12-09T07:55:33Z

I just spent the last few hours completely rearranging my icons, 'cause I ~~have no life~~ am tired and felt like showing some of my love for the stuff I'm into now aka Metalocalypse, Twin Peaks, and Mystery Science Theater 3000. I feel bad that I had to abandon some of my Metallica and Rush and Disney icons, it's almost like I'm betraying them in a way, like I don't love them as much anymore or something by not proudly brandishing it on every comment/entry I make.

....guys, I'm really tired. And I haven't posted in a week so the fact that it's all about my icon change? Yeah, don't mock.

I haven't made any big update because there honestly hasn't been much going on and I've been busy with schoolwork. The unhonest answer is that there's intense stuff going on and sometimes I'm too drained to bother with an entry about it, or I just feel like it's not fair to constantly be bringing you guys up on my emo, so I don't. I'll probably say something later though, cause I do like keeping you guys in the loop (LOL I'M IN CHICAGO'S SOUTH LOOP SO IT'S PUNNY GET IT OH GOD), I just get really lazy about wanting to make sure I get everything said that I wanted to, and then I get anxious over wondering whether you guys care or not. I'm working on not being like that, but that's how it's been for a while at least.

Yup. I really have nothing to say, this sucks. Sorry, guys.

I've got class tomorrow and I'm exhausted, so I'll probably/hopefully update with like...an update, lol. At some point in the future. In the mean time, I'm still giddy in love with Brendon Small, and I want everyone else to kind of experience the joyousness that is this man as well. So have another interview, and maybe you'll see where the love is stemming from. Or maybe you'll be like HOLY SHIT BSMALL CUTIE FACE and completely understand me. Or maybe it won't mean shit to you. Either way, he cheers me up, so I'm gonna post it. Hope everyone else is doing okay. <3

first time I'm doing this

2009-11-25T05:20:15Z

Making an entry with no pants on. Mhm. It's quite liberating. Or something.

So I'm flying back home tomorrow, but I feel it's a bit more legit since it's a holiday, and not, like, a band. lol. It's at 6:45 and I'm doing Southwest, but I'm flying into Washington 'cause it's cheaper, lol. Seriously, if my dad can save ten cents he will do anything to get it, he's so stingy. :p But yeah, I'm excited for it, because this time it'll be a lot more relaxed, less tension and anxiety on my part, and I'll be seeing family and (hopefully) friends that I haven't seen since I came here, which is about three months. So this will be nice, and I'm looking forward to it. And I just love Thanksgiving anyway, so I'm glad I can have real meals and utterly gorge myself for about four days. Bliss.

I know I didn't really say much about what I did on my birthday, but honestly, nothing much happened. Which is kinda sad, and still gets to me a bit, but I'm gonna try and make up for it when I go home. It was me and two of my friends who just walked all along Michigan Ave. where they have most of their big shops (further down the North end is where the Magnificent Mile is, so that's a huge touristy spot.) Then I got back home, Skyped my family, and let my mind get the best of me so I ended up really moody and depressed. And I guess it just hurts a bit more cause I looked back at my last birthday post, when I was 18, and I was just really giddy and happy. So I almost feel like I'm letting people down or something by not being smiley and happy on my 19th bday. But in defense of my emo, my friends had bought my MetClub membership last year, and this time I lost some people and am ten hours away from everything that's familiar. So yeah. But it turned out okay cause I had a really good talk with a good friend who pretty much helped me get into the right frame of mind. I'm not totally better, and I probably won't ever be, but with anxiety it's about learning how to deal with it rather than getting rid of it, and she put me in a good headspace for that so I'm really appreciative. <3

OH ALSO, they aired, like, the most grand and hilarious and HOLY SHIT WTF LOLZ episode of Metalocalypse yet, and I was just so giddy from it, and so happy that I had that on my bday to cheer me up. Since the Rob Zombie concert didn't end up happening. :( Oh well, hopefully he'll come around again when his NEW ALBUM COMES OUT! :D But anyway, it was around 10:00 PM when Alycia came home, and she ended up baking me a cake - that totally fell apart, lol. Like, it's ridiculously huge and has pink icing with my name scribbled all over it, but it just completely caved in and just looks dumb, lol. But then we decided that it just added to the brutality of the cake, so we dubbed it my own Birthday Dethday Totally Metal Cake (minus the mercury frosting, lol.) It was delicious, and there's still a lot left, so I might eat some now.

Yeah, that's about it. I'm torn between being productive and writing, or being lazy and watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes. I'll probably do the latter, since this is me. :p Anyway, I'm not sure yet if I'm gonna bring my laptop with me, so if I don't do a quick good-bye post tomorrow, I'll be back on Sunday. So everyone have a great holiday! :)

P.S. ketene posted pictures from when I met her and nawezireck on November 14 to see Metallica, and it is killing me with joy. Seriously, I should never be sad again, because I can just look at that post and be instantly giddy. Ugh, I can't even, I will just fangirl and babble about. It's so cute, and I miss it, and I hope it happens again and SDFKLJDFSKJLS!!! <3

P.P.S. I forgot this, but happy birthday modernxxmyth !!! She's the day after me, and she turned 19 as well, and we met when we were 15 in the Lost fandom and we still keep in touch, which I'm really happy about. I hope you had an awesome day and that the rest of your college year is going well. Miss you. <3

pre-two zero

2009-11-23T02:03:34Z

So I'm 19. It's such an awkward number, and I still can't really believe I'm associated with it. And it's kinda sentimental, because a couple of you I met when you guys were that age. Awww.

That's all I really wanted to say, just to kinda see it out there, I guess. I didn't really do much today, so there's nothing to update about, and I've got homework waiting for me so I'm going to get started on that.

A lot of stuff has been on my mind lately, and I might say something about it later, or just save it for New Year's, because that's basically what it is - resolutions for myself and my life. But I guss I'm gonna gear them towards personal goals, like now that I'm a year older what I want to do to better myself as a person in every way I can. Instead of waiting for the universal new year, this can be my new year, all the things I want to say and do and fix before I turn 20. I think it's important for me to think about in those terms, and hopefully it'll help me out in some of the areas I've been struggling in for some time now.

....thank God there's new Metalocalypse tonight. LOL.

Thanks so much for all the well wishes everyone. I love and miss you all. <3

insert subject here

2009-11-22T01:29:13Z

First off, my mom called me and told me to go on Facebook and look at Lauren's status 'cause she said I'd enjoy it. So this is what it says:

"because of you when i get in the car...i feel like i'm committing a sin when i change a radio station that has metallica playing on it...so i don't...love u big sis ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥"

HAHAHA I've taught her so much. What a cutieeeee, I want to see her again so bad. :(

So I woke up around 2 today and left about an hour later to find some new headphones. Attempt #1 happened last night, but because I'm a Scrooge and can't pay $30 for a legti pair, I had to wait until today to try and find some at Target or Best Buy. And I found a Sony pair at Target, for 8 bucks. It was wonderful. And they sorta fit in my ears, which is such a great bonus! The only thing that sucked is that when I came back to my dorm I tried to open them, and it took me ten minutes because it's packaged in that hard plastic stuff that nobody can ever open EVER so why do they do it in the first place? Ugh, it's so annoying. But I finally had to go whip out the scissors and ended up slicing my finger and giving myself a nasty papercut. And it's all bandaged but I'm still typing with it, so if there are any spelling errors, that's why.

Also, I bought two Rush CDs because they were cheap and I had enough cash and I love them. Also, because my other early birthday present came in the form of awful disgusting cramps, so I needed something to counter the suck.

Speaking of that, I still don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Alycia's not coming back until late, like 10 or 11, and Katy (the other roommate who I don't like) still isn't here. So even though I kinda like having the apartment to myself, I'm sorta running out of stuff to do, and tomorrow is gonna blow if I'm just being lame and sitting in here. I'm still holding out hope for Rob Zombie, but it's a 0/100000000 chance of me not going, so I need to find something else. I think it's just more upsetting cause I wish I was celebrating my birthday back home with everyone there. Katy's birthday was in September but she lives here so it doesn't count, and Alycia's is over Christmas break so she'll be home. And pretty much my whole group of friends from high school are in PA so they can still see their families too. I know I sound really whiny over it, I guess I just didn't think being away for my birthday was going to be a big deal because I was gonna be in freakin' Chicago and know of all these places and have so many friends to go do stuff with. And that's totally not true. But I'll find something, even if it's me walking to the nearest bookstore and hanging around there doing homework or reading, or something. That sounds kinda pathetic, though. :/

Alright, enough of that. Gonna do some homework, maybe write, and just relax until dinner is ready. And by ready I mean whenever I decide to get off my lazy ass and put some mac n' cheese in the microwave. :p

another super obnoxiously long post about nothing

2009-11-18T04:23:28Z

As in a meaningless post before my video update (most likely) tomorrow about the weekend, which included Metallica and friends and family and MSG and NY and PA and driving and Auntie Anne's and thin pizza....and Metallica. :p Because I'm too lazy to do a whole write up about it, and if the Mastodon/Dethklok ended up being the monster of a post that it became, then this should probably just stick to a video. So there you go. :p

I flew in Sunday around four in the afternoon and I've been working and stressed out since. Tomorrow is an easy day for me cause I only have a two hour tutoring session, then after that I can just relax. And Monday was the day I could register for spring semester classes, and I feel a lot better with these choices than I did for my fall term. Here's what that looks like:

Fiction Writing II: Thursday, 8:30AM - 12:20PM
Writing and Rhetoric II: Monday/Wednesday, 9:00AM - 10:20AM
Abnormal Psychology: Monday/Wednesday, 10:30AM - 11:50
CRW: Short Story Writers: Tuesday, 8:30AM - 12:20PM
College Mathematics: Monday, 3:30PM - 6:20PM

Mondays are definitely going to be my tough days, but I wanted to still have Fridays off, so I'm glad I'm doing it this way. As far as my core classes go, I'm still missing a Science credit because I was going to take it in place of Abnormal Psychology, but the only Science class that looked vaguely interesting (and somewhat passable) was already filled up by the time I got to it, so I took this other class which still gives me a credit for taking a 2000 level course. Besides, it sounds so interesting, it's probably the class I'm most looking forward to, and since it deals with issues that I can relate to, I think I'm going to really enjoy it. As well as the CRW: Short Story Writers, because I had wanted to take that this semester but it also filled up before I could. Fiction Writing II is gonna be really fun but really intense, because that's when they stop BSing you and start to get really into the writing. Which I'm a little nervous for, but it's something I think I need. Like Fiction Writing I is a requirement for Fiction Writing majors, but it's also a writing class that doesn't need any prerequisites so basically anybody who's interested in writing can take it. This means the teachers are still intent on writing, but they're not as intense and in your face about it. Usually by the end of that class the people who aren't Fiction Writing majors have had their fill and don't go for Fiction Writing II, which is why that deals with the actual majors and is so much more strict with the craft. But whatever, I think I'll be okay. And I've got four weeks plus a month to worry about it, so no point in doing it now.

Speaking of tomorrow, my roommate Alycia and our friend Jordan are taking me out to dinner for my birthday. :) My actual birthday is on Sunday, but Alycia's leaving this Thursday to go home, and my family is still ten hours away and won't see me until Thanksgiving break, so for my birthday I'll be all alone. Sadface. :( So they're taking me out tomorrow night because neither of us has a tough schedule, and since she leaves the day after, it's good for both of us. But I'm so excited about where we're going, because it's so metal. Like, really. It's some little burger place on Belmont, which is about a 15 minute train ride on the El, and all their meals are named after heavy metal bands, so it's really hilarious. Like, I'm debating on whether or not I should actually ask for the Goblin Cock. LOL! We're going out late because Alycia wants to watch So You Think You Can Dance (dance major) and Glee (which I kinda like :p) so it'll be a nice night out with a small group of us at a really fucking hardcore place. Seriously, check it out, it's awesome. I'm so psyched, I actually want to dress up and look nice for it. In a totally brutal fashion, of course. :p

Click!

And now, have this meme, because I'm bored and need something to make this post somewhat mundane. Expect updates for the next couple of days.

Spell your name out in songs.
An Ancient Sign of Coming Storm - Amon Amarth
Laser Cannon Deth Sentence - Dethklok
Love, Hate, Love - Alice In Chains
Ich Will - Rammstein
Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son - Iron Maiden
One - Metallica
Natural Science - Rush

STEP TWO:
– Name: See bolded letters.
– Birth date: November 22
– Nickname: Allieis my main one, but I still get called Asob from high school friends.
– Eye Color: Blue green, emphasis on blue.
– Hair Color: Darkish blonde.
– Zodiac Sign: I'm on the cusp, so it switches. I like Saggittarius better, so I'm going with that.

STEP THREE:
– The shoes you wore today: My black and white checkered flat shoes, kinda look like VANS but aren't. (See Charlie from Lost's shoes for a better visual.)
– Your weakness(es): Asian babies. On a less creepier note, cute animals.
– Your fear(s): Lots. Flying, change, certain crowds, to name a few.
– Your perfect pizza: Whiiiiite.
– Goal you'd like to achieve: Lose my anxiety and succeed out here in Chicago with school, family and friends.

STEP FOUR:
– Your best physical feature?: I'm really self conscious, I only think of my negative features. I guess my eyes, some people say my smile.
– Your bedtime?: Trying to keep it between 11PM - 1AM
– Most missed memory?: There's so many. Currently? The Dethklok/Mastodon concert on October 17. I was not exaggerrating when I said it was one of the happiest days of my life, and probably the happiest I've been since I moved to the city.

STEP FIVE:
This Or That...
– Pepsi or Coke?: I don't really drink soda anymore, but I'd go with Coke if I had to choose.
– McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's because it's usually the most convenient. I really try not to go to either.
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Well, I like both iced tea and hot tea. Iced tea is pretty much anything, my hot tea is Lipton.
– Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.
– Cappuccino or coffee: Neither, I'm a tea person.

STEP SIX:
Do You...
– Curse: Yeah. It's gotten increasingly worse in recent years.
– Sing: God no. Only when I'm by myself, and even then I eventually have to stop.
– Dance: At concerts and random flail parties, certainly.
– Take a shower everyday: Yes, but sometimes that comes in the late hours, which is technically the next day.
– Do you think you’ve been in love?: Not with a person.
– Want to go to college: Currently am.
– Like(d) high school: Eh, it had its moments.
– Want to get married: I don't know, it's a daunting thought.
– Get motion sickness: Nope.
– Think you’re attractive: :/
– Think you’re a health freak: Definitely not.
– Get along with your parents: Being away has actually helped our relationship.

STEP SEVEN:
In the past month...
– Gone to the mall: No, I don't have time to go all the way to Michigan to do so. It's sad, I miss the Chicken Teriyaki at my local mall's food court. :(
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Not in one sitting...and I don't really eat them. More like lick the insides and then decide if I want to eat the rest or not.
– Eaten Sushi: No, and a lot of people really want me to get on that.
– Been on stage: Yes.
– Gone skating: Yes.
– Made homemade cookies: Pilssbury Break and Bade doesn't count.
– Gone skinny dipping: Never.
– Stolen anything: A pack of gum when I was 5 cause I thougth my dad and I would have a good laugh about it. We didn't. :p

STEP EIGHT:
Ever...
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: I was involved in a game of strip pool, but because I suck at pool and made it clear that I wasn't going further than my socks and jacket, I guess that didn't really count.
– If so, was it mixed company: No, I'd say it was all good.
– Flashed anyone: No.
– Been beaten up: Yes.
– Shoplifted: No.

STEP NINE:
– Age you hope to be married: I don't know and I don't want to think about it.
– Number of Children: More terrifying than marriage.
– Describe your Dream Wedding: Skip.

STEP TEN:
In a boyfriend/girlfriend...
– Best eye color?: I like blues and greens, but personality is what wins me over.
– Best hair color?: Again, doesn't matter.
– Short hair or long hair?: Any length, just as long as it's on the longish side, at least shoulder length. Okay, then long.
– Height: Taller by default, because I don't think they really can get smaller than me.

STEP ELEVEN:
– Number of people I could trust with my life: I would say a fair few, but that's because I'm too trusting. I'm really not sure.
– Number of CDs that I own: Can't count them all.
– Number of tattoos: None.
– Number of piercings: Not yet.

PERSONAL QUIZ:
o1. Who were you with yesterday?: A lot of different people - my classmates, my roommates, city people, etc.
o2. What woke you up this morning?: Metallica's cover of Ecstasy of Gold on my phone alarm.
o3. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?: An easy school day usually tends to be a good day.
o4. Do you like anybody?: Mhm.

THE PAST:
o1. Ever thrown up in public?: No. I hardly throw up ever.
o2. What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW?: The past weekend, stuff with myself, and wanting to finish ym Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVD.

THE FUTURE:
o1. What kind of home would you like?: One with the necessities - like a roof and walls and doors.
o2. What do you want to be when you grow up?: A writer. Hopefully.
o3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?: Either back home in PA, or working on something here in Chicago ro somewhere else.

IN GENERAL:
o1. Do you like candy necklaces?: If they changed the candy, yeah. Sometimes they're just too tart tasting.
o2. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something?: Out of my bed this morning.
o3. Do you still go trick or treating?: I didn't this year, but maybe it would've been easier at home. It was fun to watch other people doing it, Halloween is really different and exciting in the city.
o4. What's your favorite type of soda?: Root Beer.
o5. Have you ever moved?: For college, because I had to. I was born in PA and my family still lives there (save for my Southern relatives.)
o6. Have you ever won an award?: Yes.
o7. Are you listening to music right now?: Yes. \m/
o8. How long 'till your birthday?: Five days! :D
o9. When were you the saddest in your whole life?: This can't be answered. Except for the last week, the last few months have had an overall negative and depressing feel to them. I'm trying to pull myself out of it, and I think it's working for now.
o1o. What time is it?: 9:58 PM
o11. Do you use ebay to buy or sell?: I don't use Ebay period.
o12. Who makes you mad: Politicians, douchebags, bitches. On a personal level, someone who I've known for two years and thought to be really good friends with is currently in this category. I don't think it's gonna change.
o13. Ever heard a song written about you: Yeah, but it was my cousin, lol. Still, you asked.
o14. Something you want to happen in 2010?: Me becoming a better person. Also, meeting with friends that I have yet to see and continue hanging out with ones that I finally did recently.
o15. Summer 2010?: Uh, same. Oh, more concerts....and a job.
o16. Honestly, do you miss 2008?: I don't think so.

HONESTY SECTION:
1. Honestly, what color is your underwear?: Black. lulz.
2. Honestly, what's on your mind?: Trin (I'm finally being honest, and most of you know the backstory to that anyway.)
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?: Writing this, cause I have no life.
4. Honestly, have you done something bad today?: Probably not.
5. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?: My mom. :p
6. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?: Yes.
7. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?: People who hurt me (including myself) and shitty situations.
8. Honestly, do you bite your nails?: All the time. Have not been succesful yet in trying to stop.
9. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder?: No...
10. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?: Yes.
11. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret now?: Probably, but I'm too afraid to admit anything anymore for fear of losing people I care about.
12. Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like?: There are traits that annoy me, but then I wouldn't consider them my "friend."
13. Honestly, what was the last text message you received?: My mom answering my question of who was Peggy Lipton's ex husband (which is Quincy Jones) because I couldn't remember....God, am I really this lame?
14. Honestly, are you in denial?: Yes.
15. Honestly, do you get up in the middle of the night?: A lot more since I started college.
16. Honestly, do you like anyone?: In a certain context, yes. In another, no.
17. Honestly, does anyone like you?: I don't think so.

RAGE SECTION:
1. What do you do when you’re mad?: Listen to music, lock myself away in my room, or get away from people. Go for a walk or something.
2. What's the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?: Said some terible things.
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: Yeah, and I still hate that I did that. Numerous times.

CRYING SECTION:
1. When was the last time you actually cried?: I teared up and let some out on Saturday morning because my mom got under my skin about some "things" that were going to be present that day and had been bothering my for a while. Last actual cry was sometime last week, because things were shitty and I wanted to go home.
2. Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Yes.
3. Do certain songs make you cry?: At its mild I'll get a burny nose feeling and sniff a lot. At the extreme I already need to be in a depressed mood, and then I bawl.
4. What usually makes you cry?: Many, many things, and I hate that. Part of it is because my anxiety tends to make me hypersensitive, but I think it's also hormones/ovulation.

HAPPY SECTION:
1. Are you usually a happy person?: I think so, but they are overshadowed by my big droughts od depression.
2. What makes you the happiest?: Music, friends, family, writing, reading, concerts, Metalocalypse, funny stuff.
3. What song makes you always happy?: LOL a lot. Currently I'm pissing my pants over "The Vowel Song" by Zimmer's Hole ft. Nathan Explosion. :D
4. Do you believe in yourself?: It's something I'm still working on.
5. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy?: Yeah, because I don't believe it, so more confirmations might mean I'll finally start appreciating, loving, and being happy with myself.

getting on a jet plane

2009-11-12T23:09:44Z

Except it's more like a Southwest airplane. But still, I'm leaving in about a half hour to take the train to the airport and board for an 8:30 PM flight back to Pennsylvania. I just want to fast forward so badly past all the security and flight stuff that makes me so anxious and nervous, but I gotta get through the worst to get to the good. This is my first time flying by myself so I hope I can handle it. :p

If I bother some of you later on, it's only because I have hours to kill at my gate and I'm most likely dying from nerves. Try not to take it personally.

Oh yeah, Metallica too. Still freaking me out, but once I'm there I'll probably be super excited. Pfft, probably. I will be, goddammit.

Alright, heading out. Love and miss you all so much, I'll update when I return on Sunday. *smoochies*

DETHSPAM, take cover!

2009-11-04T00:23:39Z

As I've said pretty much every time I post on here, things aren't going well. In fact, the only thing that is actually working out for me is my schoolwork, and my classes. Everything apart from my education blows hard, and since when has that ever happened? So these are just some of the things that have been keeping me happy, and will tide me over until I go home next Thursday to see Metallica and maybe/possibly/hopefully cobrasnaps(but that's up to her.)

Most of it....okay, all of it, is Dethklok related. Because the premiere is this Sunday (:D:D:D) and so I've been getting ready for it in a manner of supreme glee. So if that bugs you, then you don't have to read (well, more like watch) any of the stuff, and it might seem like a pointless post, but HEY. I wanna share these with the world so everyone can take part in pissing their pants with me over the hilarity that is fucking Dethklok. I'll most likely make another post about some substantial stuff that's going on (most of it relating to my classes, since that's where my ability to cope is stemming from) but for now, have these delicious goodies. :)

ITEM #1: DK S3 SNEAK PEEK
I understand if you don't want to be spoiled, and it's not really spoilery, per say, but it's a nice little bit to tide us over until Sunday, so you can watch it or wait, it's up to you.

ITEM #2: THE VOWEL SONG
They played this song at the concert, and I think they've played it at all shows before and upcoming. It's a song by Zimmers Hole featuring Nathan Explosion, and it's really short, especially since Nathan talks for most of it, but it's just so stupid and hilarious and it's actually a damn good metal song. I've probably listened to it about ten trillion times, so here ya go.

ITEM #3: BRENDON SMALL INTERVIEW
It's really ridiculous how much I've come to love this guy. Like, ugh. UGHHH. So this is a pretty recent interview, only a few days old, with Metal Injection. It's around seven and a half minutes long, so if you're not an uber fan of either of the subjects then it's probably a lot to dedicate time to. But if anything, just play the first ten seconds. Seriously, that's it, and you'll see just one of the little reasons that makes me curl in on myself and squeal with delight over how fucking much I LOVE THIS MAN. <333

BONUS ITEM:...MORE BRENDON SMALL
I can't, you guys. I can't even. This is a shorter one and it's just him talking about Dethalbum II, but if that doesn't convince, his fucking adorable little Weimaraner is the star of the vid, and he even acknowledges it. So you should watch it just for that. :)

Well, I hope that was fun for you all. I might do this again, because it gives me an excuse to rewatch them all and just LOL for an eternity. Omfg.

a crazy day of insane celebration for regular jack offs

2009-10-26T22:00:34Z

That was what last Saturday was like, and I wish it was coming around again. It was just such a fun night, despite a lot of mishaps and it ended up being really awesome. Plus, it came during a time when things were especially shitty for me and it was just a nice cathartic experience. So I want to write it up so I'll be able to look back on it and be like OMG MY FIRST CHICAGO CONCERT!!! Or I don't know, I like getting these things off my chest....a week after the fact. :p Yeah, anyway, it might get really hectic and rambly (as these things tend to be) but maybe you'll get a kick out of it. :)

So last weekend was Columbia's Parents Weekend, which is pretty much what it says - parents can come and visit, meet up with faculty and all that good stuff. Mine came up Thursday night to drop off like three boxes of food (that was absolutely marvelous) and then we did stuff around the city on Friday and Saturday. They knew I was going to this concert that night and they were actually planning on heading back home around 6:00 PM, which is when I was gonna leave for the concert, so it all worked out. This didn't have much to do with the event itself, but I really did miss them so it was nice being able to spend some time with them face to face and interacting.

OH WHICH REMINDS ME. So Friday wasn't really a big event day, it was just kind of them seeing my apartment, exploring some of the city and seeing my buildings and stuff, but they did get a program that was basically a bunch of events that parents could do during the weekend. Not all of these were associated wit Columbia, per say, it was more like just stuff Chicago had to offer for that weekend. And so there was a section that was just on concerts and music gigs, and first on the list was Rodrigo y Gabriela. So I got really excited over that, and then I scrolled down a little further and saw another band playing - UFO. GUYS I FUCKING FREAKED, AND THEN I SHOWED IT TO MY DAD AND WAS LIKE DAD LOOK WHO'S PLAYING, AND HE FREAKED OUT AND GOT SO EXCITED AND I LOVE WHEN MY DAD GETS SO INTO SOMETHING, IT JUST MAKES ME EXTREMELY HAPPY. AND MY MOM WAS LIKE -_- LOL OMFG. We couldn't go, unfortunately, but if I had known earlier I definitely would've made an effort, and just, I don't know, fucking UFO man! Michael Schenker guys!!! So I told my dad I would look up their tour dates and see when they were coming somewhere close to home so he could go see them. I still can't really believe that they were on tour, it was like such a pleasant surprise, and just seeing how my school was advertising just made me all the more proud of them, lol.

BUT ANYWAY, that aside. Saturday we met up with some of the staff from the Fiction Writing department so my parents could get an idea of what I was doing in my classes, blah blah. This was basically a whatever day, cause we were both gonna be gone and doing different things later on. So we get back after the meeting and I had texted my friend Mark, who's this guy that lives on my floor and agreed to go to the concert with me, to see what time he was coming back. He lives in the suburbs of Chicago so he's always going back and forth from home during the weekends and stuff, and I had reminded him a bunch of times about this concert so I just figured he was gonna come back before we had to leave. But okay, so we get back and I see he texted me telling me that he was going to be gone for a couple days, did I need him for something? And I was just like "....lol, jesus." Cause this is now the second time I've planned out/bought tickets for people to go to a concert with me, and they've bailed out at the last second (first time was Metallica back in January.) So I'm kinda starting to panic cause I don't know who I'm going to get to go with me at such short notice, and my parents were upset cause they didn't want me riding the train back and forth by myself. I knew where I was going, but they were worried, and I was getting anxious. The good thing was that I had actually checked the Metalocalypse comm here on LJ and saw one of the users was attending the Chicago show, so I quick emailed her asking if I could meet up, and she responded with her cell number so I could text her and see when she was coming. So she wasn't someone that I actually knew, but it was a person that I could hang out with at the concert if I needed to, which was slightly comforting. My parents just promised me to be careful and to call them whenever I went anywhere so they knew where I was. My dad also wanted me to sell the extra ticket, but I didn't know how that was gonna go cause I've never done anything like that before and I was really worried about doing it too, but I knew I should get the money back someway, so I said I would try. It's about 5:00 PM now and after we said our goodbyes they left, I got ready for the concert, double checked and triple checked everything I would need, and then headed for the train station closest to my dorm. The train ride itself was about twenty minutes cause the venue is about ten or twelve stops from my building so there were a lot of people on the train, which was comforting. But I was still panicking and starting to freak out and kinda getting upset - like, I didn't plan on attending this concert by myself, and what was I gonna do if this girl didn't show up? Just flail about by myself? It could've just been the anxiety overreacting, but it was a huge deal and I was getting really paranoid about it.

BUT THEN I FINALLY GET TO THE VENUE, LOL. So I wait around outside for a little bit, maybe ten minutes or so - it's about quarter to seven now, and the concert started at 6:30. It was really cold out already so I didn't want to be out long, but I promised my dad I would try and sell this ticket so I just kinda wandered out front, looking for a single person walking into the venue that I could maybe sell it to - I didn't want to approach a group or even two people. But then I noticed not one, but two other guys who were just full out ticket scalpers, who had like six in each hand and were trying to sell all those. So, against those guys, was I actually gonna get someone to take mine? :p After seeing that, and with how cold it was, I ended up just saying fuck it and walked inside.

Now, if I just stopped and talked about the venue itself I'd probably take up more character space than I'm allowed - and I'm already going off as it is, so I won't. But God, this was such a freakin' cool venue. Like, it's kinda hard to describe unless you're there, but it had a very gothic and medieval feel to it, especially when walking into the foyer and stuff. There was this large staircase at the end that led up and then split off to the side and when you walked up those that led up to the actual stage part. And that was really neat too, the ceiling was decorated with stars and space stuff and the lighting just made it seem so vast and awesome. It would be a perfect place for Amon Amarth to play, that's all I was thinking when I was there, just a really epic kind of feel.

So that was the place, and when I was in the lobby area I didn't know if I should just dick around down there until the girl came or if I should actually watch what was going on upstairs. I ended up going with the latter so I went up and just kinda hung out by this pillar and just watched the stage. High on Fire was playing first, which I was disappointed about cause I missed half of their set already and I really like them, but they had opened up for Opeth when I saw those guys last year so it wasn't a huge loss. Also, this whole concert was being filmed for some future DVD or something, so there were these huge crane cameras back against the floor by the soundboard, kinda where I was, and people would just be dicking around it, lol it was ridiculous. So High on Fire ended and then Converge came on pretty much right after, and I thought they blew. So hard. Like, okay, I know metalcore gets shit on a ton, but there are some bands (like Bullet For My Valentine) that people label as 'core, and you can have whatever opinion you want of them, but it just doesn't make any sense to have those two bands in the same genre. Because I think BFMV is a lot better than Converge. Now, as far as presence and liveliness goes, Converge really did sell it, their singer had a corded mic so he would run around the stage and swing it around and do all these, like, acrobatic tricks with it, which I did think was kinda fun. But that was pretty much all I got from it, everything else was pretty awful. I'm very open about music and willing to give all aspects of it a chance, but it has to have some sense of musicality to it in order for it to sound good to me, and I just think they did not have it at all. Like, it just sounded really hectic and full of nonsence and, I don't know, I just didn't like it. I'm not usually this adamantly against bands, but God, they were just bad, lol. But at least their energy was up so they kept things going.

Well it was in the middle of their set that I got a text from the girl saying she was finally there, so I went downstairs to meet her. Okay, so on LJ she's swirthweinbut her actual name is Stephanie. And she's really nice, and definitely a considerate person for letting me hassle her at the last minute and then parasiting myself to her the whole night, lol. But no, she was great, and she brough her friend Owen who was really nice too. So we went upstairs and I basically filled them in on what they had missed (which wasn't much) and then we just chilled out by the side, pretty much where I was earlier and waited for Converge to finish up. Finally they did, and then Stephanie was like "So shall we move in?" and I was like LOL K.

Okay, so now it's time for Mastodon, and people are really starting to get hyped for the cameras cause it was Mastodon who posted on their Twitter that they were filming the show, so everybody was like starting to freak and push and stuff. We were sorta on the side and these two freakishly tall guys pushed right in front of us so I was watching the stage through their elbow cracks for most of the time, until this nice girl standing next to us asked me if I wanted to stand in front of her cause there was a good view point, so I did. It was still hard to see, I had to stand on my toes to really see them, but it was a lot better than where I was before and it was really nice of her to offer, so that was good. And Mastodon....were beautiful, and incredible. And just, ughhhhh. I just got into these guys hardcore like during the last year, and they really are a unique brand of metal. They're each incredible musicians and I love the concepts they come up with for their songs/albums. And on an artistic level, they really know how to appeal. It's hard to describe, the music is just a perfect match to the images and it's such a gorgeous manifestation of the songs, I really can't get over it. So they played all of Crack The Skye, which was lovely. They had a backdrop and seemed to be telling the story that went along with the album, but I couldn't see it very well so I don't really know what it's about. But it was still really awesome, and it was so fun to see how everyone else was reacting. I mean, these guys are heavy, but it wasn't like pit outbreaks everywhere, it was more flowing than anything. Like, we'd stand and headbang for a bit, and then when it slowed and got gentler we'd sorta just bop and sway, and then start back up again when it picked up speed. Everyone was constantly moving and to feel that vibe was just awesome, it really was a wonderful experience, I can't stress it enough. They also played a track from their other albums (Blood Mountain, Leviathan, and Remission) and then ended with a Melvins cover, so that was really cool. They're definitely a fantastic live band and do not disappoint in their performance, so I will definitely be seeing them the next time they come around.

Alright, so they finish up, and then there's this little chime sound and DETHKLOK IS ON THE SCREEN! And everyone just started cheering and freaking out, lol. It was awesome. It was basically promoting this new video game called Brutal Legend that Jack Black voices, and so Jack Black's character is working for Dethklok and they have to decide if he's metal enough for them. LOL it was so hilarious, and the game actually looks like a lot of fun - I'd totally play it if I had the platform for it. But yeah, so they played that, and then when it ended Stephanie wanted to go in further, and of course I wanted to get closer to, so we pushed up further. Of course now, since it's Dethklok, people are just crushing and pushing their way through, so there was a point where I was literally sandwiched between two guys and I was like "am I gonna have to watch the concert like this?" But then things sorta shifted around and we found a spot that was pretty tolerable. We were now sorta in the middle but still in the direction we were before. The other fun thing was seeing all the people that got decked out for this concert. Like, these two guys, who looked like they were fourteen or fifteen, were behind us and they had painted their faces to look like Dethklok's corpse stage paint, it was so hilarious. There was also a kid next to us who was wearing a Planet Piss t-shirt, and apparently the big thing was that someone had dressed up as Dr. Rockzo and was running around the floor being all K-K-K-K-YEEEAH and like getting everyone riled up, LOL. I wish I had seen him, but he didn't come near us. And a couple other little goodies happened, like Facebones said something and then all of a sudden Nathan's voice came over to and started talking about, like, reading? LOL and how it's important so he was gonna sing a song about it, and he did. LOL we were all like dying. And then, finally, Dethklok came on. And it was glorious.

I really can't exaggerrate how intense everything became when they took the stage. Like, maybe it's just a testament that I'm still a wuss or I haven't gone to enough metal shows yet, but the opening riff for "Deththeme" started and people just started smashing and shoving and it got crazy in like two seconds. Stephanie and I didn't even realize they were playing the "Deththeme" cause it got so hectic but when we finally did we just kinda looked at each other and were like "....Pickles the drummer! Doodily doo, ding dong doodily doodily doo. NATHAN EXPLOSIOOOON!" LOL I just, god, it was so fun. Then it went right into "Bloodlines" and I can't even explain how fucking HAPPY I was. Like, that's the only word I can think of. Mastodon I was just as into but in a more subtle way, not showing any less energy or support but just channeling it in a different way. For Dethklok, with that first song, I was just smiling and literally jumped around and screamed the words, omfg it was incredible. And Stephanie was singing most of them with me too, which made me feel better cause as far as the Dethalbum II songs, I was like the only one who knew the words so I didn't want to come across as totally obsessed, lol. But okay, so the big thing was that where we were, the pit opened up right in front of us. Like, literally, me and Stephanie were holding our arms up trying to keep sweaty shirtless guys from falling into us and trying to shove them back. Jumping around actually helped a bit cause it kept me on alert. The only times it sucked was when I'd get really into it and start windmilling and not even see this huge guy like topple into me, LOL. It probably looked really funny but I managed to handle it, so it was okay. And even though I haven't been in a pit yet, I actually find watching them and being on the edge totally fun. Maybe I just like being involved and swept up in that vibe but like I couldn't stop grinning and feeling totally giddy inside, it was just super fun and exciting. Kinda like how I was for LOG, which I felt the same way about, but maybe because it was Mastodon/Dethklok this time it was just way more enhanced. And I'm not a weak person, so it wasn't like I shied away from a guy falling on top of me, I can hold my own. But if a 200lb guy falls full body on 85lb me, I'm obviously gonna need to brace myself for a bit. So there was this guy who wold grab me by the waist and hold me up while I got a good grip and shoved the guy back into the pit. I really appreciated that, and I hope he knows I did. I know there was one point where he leaned down and said something to me, and I couldn't understand him and and I didn't want to miss too much of the concert so I just yelled back "yeah!" and he was like "okay, cause I can see an elbow to the face happening pretty soon." So obviously he was seeing if I was going to defend myself, cause maybe it looked like I wasn't, or he didn't want to do it for me anymore? I don't know, but either way about halfway through he left the floor so I hope I didn't bother him too much, even though I did step on his feet a bunch of times from all my jumping. :p But there were other people who were helping out and getting in on it too, so it was okay. Oh, and then during "Burn the Earth," this guy had just come out the pit towards us and he was about to jump back in but he heard me, like, screaming the lyrics, the "POUR THE GAS, LIGHT THE MATCH, BURN!" part, and he looked at me and just sorta, like, stopped for a minute. Like he was surprised that I was actually singing them and being so into it, lol. And like everytime Brendon did the "BURN" part the guy would chant it with me too, and then he jumped back in the pit, LOL. It was really fun and cute. The only other thing that happened was that abut three or four crowd surfers came up around us, and this one got tossed right over to me. But because I was right on the edge of the pit, there wasn't anybody in front of my to help so I put my hands up but I could only get his shoulders and then he fell down. I felt so bad and kinda weak for letting him drop, but I helped him back up and apologized profusely, all of which I don't even know if he heard or not. But I still felt really bad, and I hope I don't come across as such a girl, it was just hard cause I wasn't in the right place and wasn't expecting it. But other than that, the rest of the set fantastic, just high energy and lots of awesome stuff. I still loved the interaction with the crowd, and I think what gets me is that this is essentially a cartoon band, so the fanbase shouldn't be taken too seriously, but the people there who were singing their hearts out to "Murmaider" and just like getting so into it was so awesome and made me so fucking happy. Because season three for the show is on the way, Brendon didn't have much time to make up a whole new storyline for the new tour, so all the videos (save for the ones for the new songs) were the same as from the last tour. But that wasn't a problem for me, and I still totally enjoyed them, and so did everyone else. Then at the end Brendon did a little conversation between Skwisgaar, Pickles, and Nathan, and he started off saying how they weren't sure they were gonna make it to the venue, and then in his Skwisgaar voice he was like "Yeah we thoughts we gets lost in a BIG FLYING BALLOONS" and I basically LOST MY SHIT, LMAO!!!!! If you've even watched a snippet of the news in the last week or so, you'll know what he's talking about. Omg, so funny. So then they finished with Fansong, we all bounced around some more, and then it was over. We headed out back down to the lobby, I bought a hoodie and girly shirt, and Stephanie got a poster before we headed outside.

So we get out there, and she tells me how she wants to find Brendon, and I know you guys had told me that it probably wouldn't work out, but she wanted to try, it wasn't that late, and she had let me hang with her the whole night so I thought why not? She was wondering if she should show Brendon her Banana Sticker tattoo on her foot, but then she was like "feet are gross he probably doesn't want to see that!" LOL. So we walk outside and there's these group of kids looking up towards the top of the building, and we look up and there's Brendon! :D He was standing with Mike Keneally (his guitarist) and some other guy having a smoke, and we were all waving up at him and he was just kinda looking at us, like we were his minions or something. HAHA it was really kind of fun. And then he just like pointed to us and was like "YOU!" and we were like "what?" LOL it was ridiculous. So then they all head back in, and this would end up being the only time we see him. :p But we hung out around there for a little bit, and then found out where the buses were so we went back and hung out there. And even though Brendon never ended up coming out, it wasn't really that bad. There were a couple other people hanging around - one guy was from pretty much my area in Pennsylvania, about an hour outside of Philly, so we were talking about that for a bit, and the girl with him was named Curi, which I thought was really cool, and she has this band called "Curiosity" (how clever!) and she gave us all these little stickers with their logo on it, it was so cute. And we did end up saying hi to one of the High on Fire members, who seemed really cool and gave the PA guy a hearty handshake, lol. And then some time after that Brian from Mastodon came out and headed to his van, but he stopped by us in passing and let us tell him what a great show they did and congrats and he said thanks, so that was nice. :) Probably after that we stood huddled for another hour or so cause it was fucking cold, and like Curi and Stephanie were wearing really light clothing so they were dying. Then one of the security people came out and told us how there was apparently some big tour party going on inside and pretty much right after it ended Brendon and Gene and everybody else went straight for the bus and went to sleep. He also pointed out how the lights were off so they were all sleeping, and then that's when I felt like an ass for hanging around outside all that time. I don't know why, guess I just felt bad, like they're sleeping and we're still creeping around, god I don't know. But yeah, he basically said that they weren't coming out and we thanked him for letting us know, he was a really nice guy.

So we all went our separate ways, I said goodbye to Stephanie and Owen, and then I waited for the train to come and pick me up, and by the time I got back it was after three. And I called my mom telling her I had made it back but she made me stay on the phone with her cause she wanted to make sure I got back to my dorm okay, and she was on the phone with me saying "are there people around you? okay now just run, run to your building!" lol it was kind of hilarious. But then I felt bad cause when I got the building I had to get my keycard out to unlock the door, and since my hands were basically frozen and I was using one to hold the phone I dropped my keycard on the ground, and since I was concentrating so hard on getting that I forgot that she was on the line, so I guess she kept talking to me and asking me stuff and since I didn't answer she was like ALLIE HOLY SHIT ANSWER ME and I was like SORRY MOM I'M ALIVE. In light of what happened with the girl at the Charlottesville Metallica concert I really shouldn't be joking about it and I can see where she's coming from, and I am gonna be careful from now on about these things. But anyway, I made it inside and up to my room, and then after I checked some stuff and just basically tried to come drown from the evening, I went to bed around 6:00 AM or so.

And that's that. Really, really, amazing time. This is definitely one of the best concerts I've been to, and I'm always gonna remember it. I have Metallica coming up in a few weeks, and hopefully Rob Zombie, so it's all very exciting. I'm just really glad I have these things to look forward to cause other shit is getting me down and nothing's really improving, so I can use these ways as escapes. Especially Saturday, like shit happened right on the train on the way there and at the venue and I was just like, ugh, seriously? I do not fucking need this. But I just purged it all out and maybe that made the experience so much more memorable. I don't know, but whatever, it was a wonderful time, and I'm still kinda reeling from it, a week later. It was super magical, I can't stress it enough. :)

...I really never stop talking, do I? Jesus Christ. :p

toki, your boner is showing

2009-10-26T01:40:15Z

There really is not point to this post other than to say that I'll be doing the Mastoklok write up tomorrow, and that cramps fucking suck. Holy shit godfuckingdammit.

I'm also in limbo with being thoroughly depressed and alarmingly ecstatic. At least it's an improvement from where I've been. Slightly.

this is horrible

2009-10-22T00:22:12Z

A 20-year-old college student is missing after she left her friends shortly before the start of a Metallica concert Saturday night in Charlottesville, NC.

According to University of Virginia police, Morgan Dana Harrington, a Virginia Tech junior, was last seen leaving the John Paul Jones Arena shortly before Metallica's set Saturday night. Her friends had no idea why she was leaving the venue, but assumed she'd be returning.

Harrington drove to the concert with her roommate and a friend. Her purse and cell phone were later found outside the arena, and her car was still in the parking lot.

"We are deeply concerned about the disappearance of 20-year-old Virginia Tech student Morgan Dana Harrington, who was last seen while attending our concert at the John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville, VA, on Saturday night," Metallica said in a statement posted on their website.

Harrington was last seen wearing a black Pantera t-shirt, a black miniskirt, black tights and black knee-high boots. She has long blond hair and blue eyes, is 5'6", and weighs about 120 pounds.

Virginia State Police are asking anyone with video or photos from Saturday's concert to check the images and see if they show the missing student.

Anyone who might have knowledge of Harrington's whereabouts are asked to contact the Virginia State Police at (434) 352-3425 (434) 352-3425, or the UVA Police at (434) 924-7166 (434) 924-7166 or police@virginia.edu.

The people who were at the concert or live in the Virginia area are probably the only ones who can still be of any help. She's now been missing for about four days and unless new info comes up, the trail is going to go cold. This is just really sad and awful, and I'm gonna keep thinking and hoping that she turns up safe. The concert I went to on Saturday I went by myself, in a city that I don't completely know yet, at a venue I've never been to before, and on a city train and in a not so great area. Now, after reading this, I realize I should've been more careful about it and I'll definitely be preparing myself for when I see Metallica at MSG. For now, I hope everyone keeps her in your thoughts and prayers, spread the word around to anybody who might be of any help, and just hope for the safe return of this poor girl. It's still just so shocking to me, I honestly can't get over it.

that meme that trin did

2009-09-29T23:34:32Z

1. Dark/Darkness
"Fear of the Dark" - Iron Maiden

2. Blood/Bloody
"Blood" - Emigrate (:p)

3. Death/Dead
"Dead" - Korn (:p)

4. War
"Silent Wars" - Arch Enemy

5. Bastard
"Bastards of Bodom" - Children of Bodom

6. Pain
"All Pain is Gone" - Combichrist

7. Bitter
"Bitter" - OOMPH! (:p)

8. Hate/Hatred
"Hate to Feel" - Alice in Chains

9. Christ
"Darkness of Christ" - Slayer

10. Eternal
"Night Eternal" - Moonspell

11. Zombie
"She Was a Teenage Zombie" - Murderdolls

12. Forest
"Reverie - Harlequin Forest" - Opeth

13. Funeral
"Electric Funeral" - Black Sabbath

14. Fuck
"Grinfucked" - DevilDriver

14. Song
"Fansong" - Dethklok (heeeeee <3)

15. Winter
"Emotional Winter" - Anathema

16. Lord
"The Lords of Salem" - Rob Zombie

17. Terror
Zip.

18. Storm
"Inside the Particle Storm" - Dark Tranquility

19. Dream
"11-00 AM (Daydreamer)" - 10 Years

20. Rape
"Rape Me" - Nirvana

20. Angel
"Angel of the Odd" - Dead Child (these guys are such ridiculous fun :D)

21. Moon
"Moonlapse Vertigo" - Opeth

22. Glory
"For the Glory Of..." - Testament

23. Battle
Nah.

24. End
"The End of the Line" - Metallica

25. Ancient
"An Ancient Sign of Coming Storm" - Amon Amarth

26. Lost
"My Lost Lenore" - Tristania

27. Victory
"Victorious March" - Amon Amarth (close enough, right?)

28. Fire
"English Fire" - Cradle of Filth

29. Wind
"Days of North Winds" - I

30. Soul
"Don't Go Stealing my Soul Away" - Accept

31. World
"Worlds Collide" - Apocalyptica

32. Cross
"The Rite of Our Cross" - Satyricon

33. Kill
"Kill It" - Helloween

34. Frozen
Zilch.

35. Time
"Time Long Past (Instrumental)" - Fates Warning

36. Cold
"Creatures that Kissed in Cold Mirrors" - Cradle of Filth (that's a mouthful)

37. Journey
Nope.

38. Star
"StarFuckers Inc." - Nine Inch Nails

39. Eternity
"Crypts of Eternity" - Slayer

40. Night
"Neon Knights" - Black Sabbath (I <3 Dio)

41. Sorrow
"Sea of Sorrow" - Alice in Chains

41. Heart
"Blind at Heart" - Dark Tranquility

42. Gates
"At the Gates of Midian" - Cradle of Filth

43. Raven
"Swansong for a Raven" - Cradle of Filth (goddamn I have too much COF, lol)

44. Wolf/Wolves
"Of Wolf and Man" - Metallica (:D)

45. Hell
"Living Through Me (Hell's Wrath)" - Pantera

46. Fall
"The Fall of Adam" - Marilyn Manson

47. Sky/Skies
"Crack the Skye" - Mastodon

48. Cry
"Desperate Cry" - Sepultura (but I also want to add "Do You Cry" by CS5 because Trin will piss her pants over it.)

49. North/Northern
"Days of North Winds" - I

50. Rise
"The Fallen Arises" - Dimmu Borgir

51. Shadow
"Iron Shadows" - Jag Panzer (he's pretty cool)

52. Call
"The Call of Ktulu" - Metallica

53. Satan
"Satanic Mantra" - Cradle of Filth

54. Sun
"The Rising of the Black Sun" - Astra

55. Fear
"Fear of a Blank Planet" - Porcupine Tree (it works)

56. Pagan or Heathen
Nada.

57. Hammer
Zero.

58. Flesh
No.

59. Grave
"Graverobbing U.S.A." - Murderdolls

60. Damned/Damnation
"Children of the Damned" - Iron Maiden

61. Plague
Nothing.

62. Odin
"With Odin On Our Side" - Amon Amarth

63. Forlorn
:(

64. Suffer/Suffering
Nope.

65. Devil
"Never Bet the Devil Your Head" - Dead Child

66. Empty
"Empty Me" - Dark Tranquility

67. Die
"Now You've Got Something To Die For" - Lamb of God

68. Hour
"Hours of Wealth" - Opeth

69. Black
"Fade to Black" - Metallica

Well that was fun. And I want my new Dethklok/AIC CDs. *weep*

bruuuuutal

2009-09-29T03:55:24Z

I can't remember the last time I felt this sick. Fainting and throwing up are rare for me, and I've done more of that then I think I ever have in my whole life. Along with some other shit that's just too TMI and humiliating for me to mention. I made an appointment at the health center tomorrow for 1:40, but that's after a four hour writing class and before two back to back classes (2:00 - 3:20, 3:30 - 4:50). I'm probably gonna miss part of the former for the appointment but I really can't miss anything this early in the game, especially my long morning classes. I'm so terrified that I'm gonna be sitting there and the pains are gonna come back and it's gonna only be 10:00 and I'm not gonna know what to fucking do. God, this is fucked. I can't even deal with this, I hate this.

What also blows is that new AIC/Dethklok comes out tomorrow, and I've been so excited to pick them up for weeks now. I don't know if I'll even be able to make it to the nearest music store with the way I'm feeling. I know I'm complaining, but I'm both scared and depressed and I still have homework and it all makes for an awful combo with the kind of schedule I have tomorrow. Like, of course I couldn't get sick on a Friday or a day where I could just spend the next day sleeping and getting better. Nope, it just gets worse the night before my busiest day of the week. Story of my life.

As embarrassing as it is to say, this is the only time I wish I was closer to home, so that I could feel closer to my parents and probably help this all out a bit. I've been on the phone with my mom all day cause I just don't know what to do, but besides her words there's nothing she can do, we're too far away, and that's scaring me more than anything else.

So that's that. I'm gonna go before I vomit all over the keyboard. I'm hoping to fucking God I'll feel decent when I get up, cause I cannot miss class. I just can't.

I wish I was responsible enough to know what to do. This sucks.

Meme timeeeeee

2009-09-25T00:25:38Z

I promise I'll actually update with something a little more substantial....but this looked like fun. And I need some of that.

Why are you taking yet another shuffle quiz?
Song: Sun and Steel
Artist: Iron Maiden
Comment: Er, yeah. That's why.

What's currently in your fridge?
Song: Creeping Death
Artist: Metallica
Comment: That sucks. ROFL.

Your biggest nightmare?
Song: Hollow Life
Artist: Korn
Comment: I can see that, actually.

What place would you like to visit?
Song: Even Flow
Artist: Pearl Jam
Comment: Sounds relaxing.

A reason to commit suicide?
Song: Now, Diabolical
Artist: Satyricon
Comment: LOL oh God.

Why are we here?
Song: Twitch of the Death Nerve
Artist: Dead Child
Comment: Suuuuuure.

Something you never dared to say to anyone...?
Song: It Ain't Like That
Artist: Alice In Chains
Comment: Um, I have said that to someone. Maybe without the "ain't" part.

One thing the world really doesn't need?
Song: Giant's Lore (Heart of Winter)
Artist: Fates Warning
Comment: It would b e so rad though if one existed.

What's your biggest unfulfilled wish?
Song: Soldier Side - Intro
Artist: System of a Down
Comment: Probably not.

If you could invent something, what would it be?
Song: Saffron's Curse
Artist: Cradle of Filth
Comment: ......lol holy shit. Worship me.

The last thing you say before you die?
Song: Helden
Artist: Apocalyptica
Comment: Man, this is so my Rosebud. How awesome and WTF-esque.

What's your destiny?
Song: Love Is Not Enough
Artist: Nine Inch Nails
Comment: Well.

What do you do when you're alone in an elevator?
Song: Tear Down The Walls
Artist: Arch Enemy
Comment: AHAHAHAHA yup.

Why do people go fishing?
Song: Ebla
Artist: E. S. Posthumus
Comment: Exactly.

What would you do with your slaves?
Song: People Hate Me
Artist: Murderdolls
Comment: Wow, I must be an awful bitch then.

Is there a man on the moon?
Song: The Start of Something Beautiful
Artist: Porcupine Tree
Comment: That's how I feel.

What does hell look like?
Song: Escape to the Void
Artist: Sepultura
Comment: Hell is brutal.As it should be.

About what would you like to write a book?
Song: Demon Speeding
Artist: Rob Zombie
Comment: Omfg yes. This is definitely gonna be my next writing assignment.

The best thing ever is...?
Song: Evenfall
Artist: Tristania
Comment: Eh, why not.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Song: Vortex
Artist: Megadeth
Comment: Yuuuuup.

Why do you listen to music?
Song: Terminus (Where Death is Most Alive)
Artist: Dark Tranquility
Comment: How fitting. The song itself just answers the question (so everyone should give it a listen MMK?)

What do you do when you're alone and nobody's watching?
Song: Princess of the Dawn
Artist: Accept
Comment: .......with the right mind, somebody could make this vulgar and inappropriate. lawl.

Why are other people so stupid?
Song: I'm Not a Hero
Artist: The Dark Knight soundtrack
Comment: Uh. Maybe?

Last thing you ate?
Song: The Last Baron
Artist: Mastodon
Comment: Guess that explains why he was the last one. LOLOLLLLL.

Why is grass green?
Song: Aethetics of Hate
Artist: Machine Head
Comment: Nice antithesis we got here.

Your phone is ringing, but who's on the other end?
Song: Vicarious
Artist: Tool
Comment: I probably wouldn't hang up.

What should you stop doing?
Song: Hours of Wealth
Artist: Opeth
Comment: PFFT I need to have some to stop it first.

A word of advice to the readers of this quiz?
Song: Communication Breakdown
Artist: Led Zeppelin
Comment: Okay. LOL.

Type your cut contents here.

greetings and a meme

2009-09-05T21:07:02Z

You can learn a lot about someone by the music they listen to. So here is the game! Hit shuffle on your ipod or mp3 player and write down the first 25 songs. No cheating or skipping songs that are shameful. That is what makes it fun!

1) Amon Amarth - Twilight of the Thunder God
2) Slayer - Jesus Saves
3) System of a Down - Lonely Day
4) Dimmu Borgir - Blessings Upon the Throne of Tyranny
5) Dethklok - Birthday Dethday
6) Slipknot - Despise (demo)
7) Led Zeppelin - I Can't Quit You Baby
8) Nine Inch Nails - Sunspots
9) Satyricon - The Pentagram Burns
10) Fates Warning - Prelude to Ruin
11) Iron Maiden - Seventh Son of a Seventh Son
12) Emigrate - Let Me Break
13) Cradle of Filth - Death Magick for Adepts
14) Metallica - The Unforgiven (live 1/17/09)
15) Alice In Chains - God Smack
16) Tool - Aenima
17) OOMPH! - Eine Frau Spricht Im Schlaf
18) Anthrax - Only
19) Apocalyptica - Helden
20) Megadeth - Elysian Fields
21) Opeth - Godhead's Lament
22) Moonspell - Dreamless (Lucifer and Lilith)
23) Lamb of God - Break You
24) Tristania - Cease to Exist
25) Rob Zombie - Dead Girl Superstar

It's been awhile, lots of stuff has happened since I moved to Chicago a week ago. And none of it has anything to do with school, since classes don't start until Tuesday. :p Hoping to have an actual substantial update in the future. Miss and love you guys. <3

two weeks

2009-08-17T02:37:46Z

I leave for school next Wednesday, the 26th. I'm ready to throw up from nerves and fear and excitement, all at once. My move-in day is technically the 28th, but since we're driving (and making a pit stop at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame :D) we're leaving a little bit earlier. Still, I don't like thinking about how in a little over a week I won't be here anymore. It's just weird and gross and blah. Not good.

I have more to say, I really do, I'm just too tired and out of it right now to post all of it - or at least do so eloquently. We just got back from some college shopping and now all I wanna do is sleep off this upset stomach I have.

Expect some spammy, angst ridden posts coming up in the days leading to my departure. I'll be sorely needing you guys (at least the ones who give a flying fuck.)

another bday!

2009-08-04T00:54:02Z

TO JAMES HETFIELD!!! :D

Happy birthday you fantastic wonderfully awesome man. I could go all sentimental and in depth of how much this guy means to me, but instead, I'll just post some pics and be all goofy and giddy here. Yup, sounds right. :)

The big guy turned 46, and he's still totally amazing. UGH. Love ya Jamie. <333

bassin' belated birthday!

2009-07-30T22:09:23Z

Yesterday was Geddy Lee's birthday, the vocalist/bassist/keyboardist/all things awesome in the prog rock band Rush. He turned 56, and still looks fucking adorable and cute and Canadian. :D

Aww, lookithim. Continue rocking out in one of the greatest bands in the world. <3

events, upcoming and previous

2009-07-17T00:44:37Z

I've got Orientation on Monday, and I leave Saturday at 8:30 PM. I'm really nervous, but also really excited. I've been talking with my roommates recently, and they seem nice enough, I just hope it can last and that my anxiety doesn't get in the way. So far, two of them do not share my musical interests in the slightest, but I won't hold that against them, I need all the friends I can get. But one of them is a great photographer, and I just love looking at her photos on Facebook, they're so super lovely. I'm definitely gonna be getting lessons from her, lol. The third girl actually graduated high school about a year and a half ago, but she wanted to put it off for traveling and money. Now that she's going she's majoring in journalism, and before this she was working as an apprentice at her friend's tattoo parlor. She doesn't have any kind of networking site so I don't know much about her, but she sounds awesome. :) So yeah, hopefully this all goes well. Wish me luck.

In other news, I'm going to get the Twin Peaks soundtrack, and once I get my hands on it, everyone is going to give it a listen. The music is about as trippy and strange sounding as the show, but it's also got these unique elements thrown and mixed in, like jazz and orchestration, that just makes it an amazing soundtrack. Ugh, I love it, I really hope I can get it soon.

NERD ALERT: I already saw the Harry Potter movie, cause I went with Lauren and three gymnastics friends at midnight. Dorks we be. I probably enjoyed the events leading up to it (sneaking Wawa dinner inside, picking out the best costumes among the crowd, hiding from the bitch who was running the line, randomly quoting The Office and Youtube vids) more than the film itself, but the sixth book was my favorite, so I'm probably being too hard on it. I'll definitely b seeing it again (see dork) and maybe then I'll do a more thoughtful review. But for now, it was fine, and it's put me back on my Alan Rickman/ crush from, like, fourth grade. Snape > everything. <3

I also bought some goodies, which include: Iron Maiden: Flight 666 (EEEE!!!), Mastodon's Crack The Skye (ugghgauughfgfeglovelovelove) and clothes (summer stuff, Chicago stuff, cute bras, band shirts.) I was going to get Children of Bodom's Blooddrunk but Lauren wouldn't let me listen to whatever I bought in the car if it had screaming and stuff in it. Which I'm sure it has. :p So I passed it up for Mastodon, and I'm not at all regretting it. Great album. BUT, for anybody who's heard it, would it be worth to go out and get it or should I just find a download somewhere? I really liked Are You Dead Yet? and my friend has been pimping Follow the Reaper since the dawn of time, but I'll give the other a listen if it's just as good. I'm always open to new stuff, obviously. As far as books go, I got the Cliff Burton tribute (I'm almost afraid to read it, for fear of bawling), Metallica, The Club Dayz (holy shit talk about Babytallica, so fucking cute it slays me), a photography guide (see newbie), couple of fiction writing books that look promising, and music magazines. Yup, I'm pretty much set. Right now I'm reading this book on Columbine, and ugh, it's fascinating. So, so good. I might talk about it after I'm finished, but the event itself has affected me since I first heard it, and just reading this detailed account of different aspects of it, it's just amazing. Hope nobody thinks I'm a freak for getting pleasure out of this.

As far as concerts go, my list is not as epic as randomvacancy but, come on, who else is? I'm seeing Green Day on Tuesday when I get back from Chicago....shut up, I know, it's for a friend, we've been BFFS in a 42 beers way and Green Day is to her like Metallica is to me but UGGFKFDKH FUCKING GREEN DAY GAWD WHY. At least we're on the floor, so maybe I can get some fun out of it. Otherwise, I might be seeing Tool with a friend, but I'm not completely sure, that's still up in the air. Alice In Chains tix went on sale a few days ago and they're already sold out, which I should've expected, but still. Balls ~~to the wall~~ :( They're selling for about a hundred now, but I'm hoping there will be some kind of a drop closer to the date, which is in September. Unless something like that isn't plausible, in which case I'll stop wishing. But I'm gonna keep an eye out cause this concert is in Chicago, and it's at the House of Blues. Which is two minutes from my dorm building. Yeah, fucking A. How can I pass this up? I need to see a concert in the Windy City, and this just seems so perfect. I've never actually gone to a show that didn't consist of driving and parking and all that stressful stuff, and I'm really looking forward to just checking out things on the street. Makes me feel independent and cool, or something, I don't know. We'll see how it goes.

Speaking of music, for all you guys uploading random stuff, I'm definitely digging it. If you have something and are afraid to post it cause you think nobody will download it, read this. Cause I will, I promise you. I can't get enough.

So, this was kind of a pointless post. I blame it on my job, since I have absolutely no online time and when I do its just a vomitation of mindless, unneccessary tidbits on my life. But I hope you all didn't mind anyway. I'll probably post again before I leave for Chicago unless something else comes up before then. Hope things are going well for all of you. I really miss talking to some of you guys. <3

david lynch - my new favorite wacko

2009-07-04T01:16:29Z

I really hate how I always seem to get into great shows or bands way past their prime, and then I get all fangirly over it and nobody else is around to bask in it with me. At least, no one around my age. :p

But I just started watching Twin Peaks about a week ago, and I. Fucking. Love it. David Lynch, the guy who created it, is so kooky and weird and strange and just everything that I find fascinating and awesome. I actually heard of the show before because it was always referenced by fans of Lost, being another trippy serialized show and all. But whereas J.J. Abrams is a good creator on the frontof big dramatic hits and successes, David Lynch is totally and completely out there with himself and his work, and it's just, UGH. I am totally in love, seriously. Of course, the show got cancelled after its second season because people are morons who don't have enough depth to follow a storyline and wait for the answers to be revealed in amazing and fantastic ways only David Lynch can produce. And it's making me get a huge man crush on Kyle MacLaughlin. Who'd ever thought I'd fall for a clean cut, quirky dude? <3

I already bought Blue Velvet, another extremely bizarre Lynch film starring Kyle MacLaughlin - these two are similar to the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp pairing. I heard it's way more weird and extreme than Twin Peaks, which is just making me foam at the prospect of watching it. Once I finish the series I'll get on it, and then continue to work my way through Lynch's catalogue. Because he is superb and fascinating and wonderfullll. UGDHFJD.

Note that this is one of those few, rare entries where I'll actually freak out extensively over television/actors/superficial things. Because it's just that gripping. :D

GETTING ICONS NAO KTHXBAI.

and it's over

2009-06-26T04:10:28Z

My meet started at five, and didnt end until about ten thirty. I'm dead tired, and it hasn't really hit me yet that everything is actually over. Like, for good. Probably on Sunday, when Lauren goes off to practice and I realize I don't need to be there because I'm not actually on the team anymore, that's probably when it'll hit me. Hard. Right now I'm just getting exhaustion and relief from it all, but we'll see how that changes.

The only thing that happened which was absolutely perfect? Once awards were over and I got out to the car, I turned on the Sirius and guess what was playing? Yup, Metallica's Master of Puppets. How utterly fucking beautiful and perfect, for me, to have that song playing as I leave my final gymnastics meet for the last time. I actually did start tearing up then, lol.

Here's the stats from the meet itself:

Vault - 8.000
Bars - 7.1
Beam - 7.85
Floor - 7.525
All Around - 30.475

Yeah, you're probably thinking those aren't great scores. And you're right. Just looking at them by themselves they look like nothing and what do I have to be proud of? For me, they're great, because I haven't been doing my tumbling for such a long time, and this was the first meet that I did all of it and got through a full Bars routine, so that's definitely an accomplishment. My main disappointment is with Beam, because I fell off towards the end which is why I dropped into the sevens. If I had stayed on, I probably would've gotten at least an 8.3, which would've bumped my All Around and made me feel better about getting only one 8 for my last meet. But whatever, what's done is done. Despite everything, I'm happy with what I did. At the very least it'll give me something to look back on.

And that's it. Period. I am no longer a current gymnast. It's just...ugh. That doesn't sound right. Now it's starting to feel a little strange.

so this is it

2009-06-25T02:48:47Z

Opening Ceremonies for the official National Gymnastics competition was today, and tomorrow I compete at 5:00 PM.

After fourteen years, this will be the last time I ever do gymnastics as a current seasonal competitor. So hopefully I don't screw it up, otherwise I'll have something shitty to look back on. :p

I'd write more but I'm just so tired and exhausted from everything that I'm just gonna leave it at that. I'll probably have more for tomorrow, once the meet is over and the water works cease (yeah I'm gonna be crying, shut up.)

So yeah, wish me luck guys. I'll be needing it.

Seeeeenyuuuuuhhhh

2009-06-13T22:12:39Z

I've been gone for a week and forgot to mention it. Miss me? :p

So, I was at Senior Week, and yeah. I'll probably talk about it, and not just the OMFGGHGFABGRLPARTAYBEACHESWEEEE!!!! squealing. I'll probably just talk about how I had my first alcoholic drink and the events of all that, plus how boys can be absolute douchebags. And yeah.

Glad to be back and I get to catch up on a lot of stuff. Hope you guys have been having a good summer so far. :)